7 months

I didn't really post much about being 6 months old.  Cordelia continues to be adorable and amaze us all.    Cordelia can now roll from back to tummy with ease and even does tummy to back now, though she does it less often.  Once on her tum, she can push up and also scoot around, rotating.  and also edging backwards.  We are trying to clean and also begin to think about how to baby proof!

After Thanksgiving we moved C into her nursery to sleep in her crib.  She moves around too much and was too big for her bassinet.  It was a little sad for me.  The first night, she slept the whole time.... first time in ages.  But even with the good start it has been tough goings.  She hates to be put down and wakes on the decent into the crib.  Lots of crying, failed attempts and wakings all the time.  She just cannot put herself to sleep.  Like, ever.  I have been reading up on the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book and basically Cordelia must be pretty sleep deprived.

I did have a plugged duct one Friday, first time in over a month.  I had been getting optimistic, but I think it was around when she slept later than usual and I didn't let her eat enough before going to work, to empty both sides. BAM! Back up!  Now I know to be extra, extra careful about that.  Also, this was the first time I unplugged the duct entirely on my own.  I felt the pop of release! that I've heard described on the internet.  Ahhhh.  Lots of pumping and baths helped a lot too.

It is holiday time.  C went to my work party, a holiday concert, and had a playdate with my coworker's 1 year old.  Then it was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her cousins!  Oh yes, and all the cousins had their picture taken together for the grandparents.  It turned out amazingly cute.  But we did have to postpone the photo shoot by a day because we had C in bed with us one morning, after several night wakings.  LBC kept trying to sit on her head, because C had taken her spot between the pillows.  Unfortunately, when trying to move LBC for the umpteenth time, her claw brushed against Cordelia's face, right above her eye.  It was an accident, but I just couldn't let pictures of her be taken when I would always look at them and think about her getting scratched!!  So we were able to wait a few days and it was much, much better by the time of the shoot.

Now we have amazing photos to remember Cordelia at her most precious 6 months old!!  We had a tough time deciding what she should wear, but in the end, I think it is the perfect outfit, suiting her personality so well.

Today was Cordelia's doctor's appointment at last.  A bit late, I know.  She measures up at 16 lb 6.4 oz (40%ile); 2'3.75" (88%ile); and her head-circumference is 43.2 cm (57%ile).  I was surprised a bit.  Last time she was in the 50th for weight... it seems like she is pretty light!  Also, she has gone from the 97th to the 88th in height.  All normal ranges, I guess, but less dramatic than they had been!  But it makes sense, I do feel like she hasn't been growing like a weed as much.  Many of her pants are still short on her, but she can still wear footie pajamas no problem.

At the Dr's, we were by the injection clinic, and an old Asian man came out and saw Cordelia giving a happy baby smile (this after her 4 shots!!).  He told Cordelia not to take money from strangers, then emptied out all the money from his coin purse for her.  77 cents.  He gave it to us and said God Bless You, Happy Holidays.  He said it was for her piggy bank.  It was so sweet.  The lady sitting across started crying, she was so moved.  I wonder about his health, I hope he is ok.

We are working on doing a bit of sleep training to help with her sleeping in her crib.  We are just trying it out, I'll write more to see how it goes.  I don't believe in cry it out, but I do think that at 7 months old, we can ask a bit more of her.  She should be able to have more opportunities to put herself down... if we always go to her, instantly, every time, she will be deprived of the chance to learn how to do it herself.  Last night, she was well fed and put to bed early after a busy Xmas (with poor naps).  It was 9:30 when she woke up crying.  I decided to see what would happen if we just let her be.  She cried until 11.  There were a few seconds where she would get quiet, but then she would be on the go again.  Crying and crying.  Some people's babies cry themselves out in 15 minutes.  Maybe 20 or 30 minutes.  Not mine!!!!!!!!!  I went in and picked her up and after 2 attempts we were able to get her down to stay... she slept all night. YAY!  We have a lot of work to do.  Also at the Dr's we got a handout that says that any nap less than 1 hour is NOT restorative sleep.  Lots and Lots of work to do!!!!!  Hopefully things will start to improve!

Thanksgukkah

This is our first family vacation!  On Tuesday night, we drove to Socal.  We didn't leave until around 8:30, when Cordelia had gone down for the night as part of her regular routine.  I know it was a late start, but it seemed like a decent idea to go while she was normally asleep.  It worked out well in that Cordelia slept the entire drive.  The bad point was hitting horrible traffic when the Grapevine was closed down to one lane, adding over an hour to our journey as we crawled along.

My dad (writer who keeps weird hours) was up to let us in.  He started to be playful with the sleepy Cordelia right away and brought out the cat Chrestomanci to see her.  We put Jason to bed (he was amped up on coke) and I nursed Cordelia so she would go back down for a few hours.  My mom got up just as I had put her down in the pack n play and admired the baby before heading to the school where she works.

Late we all went out and joined her at the school.  I saw her new library and visited my old teachers, who were so excited to see the grand baby.  Cordelia was being her usual charming self and bounce and beamed at everyone, leaving them in awe of her joyfulness and her beauty.

Wednesday night was the first night of Hanukkah.  Yay! Cordelia's first Hanukkah!  I am very glad she got to spend it with her grandparents and aunties and get to be there as my dad lit the menorah and said the blessing.  I've been doing it myself the last few years; this was our first time being together during Hanukkah in quite some time!

Thursday was Thanksgivukkah!  My mom and Rebecca did all the cooking.  We hung out around the house enjoying family time.  At dinner, Cordelia joined us for the meal.  We gave her rice cereal mixed with breast milk for the first time.  This was her first solid food.  She was intrigued by the experience.  Much of the cereal went on her My First Hanukkah bib, as her tongue pushed it back out of her mouth or it dribbled down her cheeks.  But she definitely ate some.  It seemed to go well.  But I was a little concerned that she did not have a decent poop for almost two full days..... She has gone without pooping before, but I had read that rice can cause constipation.  Then on Saturday, her cheeks also looked a little rashy, but that may have been from drool or rubbing against something unfamiliar.  Eventually she did have a nice poop, so I gave her more cereal today (Sunday).  And she pooped promptly after it, even though she'd already pooped today.  So I don't see an immediate connection to the constipation, if it can even be called that.

On Friday, Renie gave me a lovely hair cut that it turned out my mom had paid for as a Hanukkah present.  She was so sweet and said Cordelia was a doll.  We stopped at the $10 or less bookstore and also shopped for some more nursing bras for me.  It was raining off and on and we walked with C through a light drizzle.  She started laughing in surprise.  Later someone pointed out that that was a great reaction... maybe another baby would cry.  But not Cordelia.  She looks at the world and takes delight in everything.

Saturday was baby day.  C had a playdate with my high school friend's baby.  He is 3 weeks younger.  They are similar in size, but he is much heavier......solid torso!!  I really enjoyed getting to talk with a mama of a baby at the same stage as my own.  We then went to LosCon.  My parents loved telling everyone that I went to my first LosCon at 6 months.  We saw a 7 month old and an 8 month old.  Sitting up and crawling are in our future!   For dinner we saw some of my socal friends for dinner.  The waitress loved Cordelia and gushed over her so much.

On Sunday, Cordelia got to meet her great auntie Cassandra, Travis, and her cousins Ashton and Mason (six and three).  We had a yummy brunch and saw their new house.  That night, Rebecca blew bubbles at Cordelia for the first time and she was so excited.

We drove back on Monday and Cordelia ROCKED IT.  She was happy in the car, playing with me or her toys or taking her regular naps.  I was afraid she would sleep the whole time and then be up all night.  But no, she did amazing.  I had to nurse her at In and Out, but that was ok.  She started to fuss lightly when we were a block from home, but that does not count!

Such a nice vacation and so wonderful to share some special moments with my family!

Favorite Things + Updates

For the last few weeks, Cordelia's favorite thing in the world is to stand up on us while on the bed and reach for our reading lamps.  We have two lights, basically lightbulbs on stalks coming out of the wall.  Well, Cordelia can grab them.  She can hold one with both of her hands or grab one light in each hand. Then she squeals and gurgles and makes this happy little cough.  One time, she was so happy, her whole body gave a shiver of joy.  Jason and I melted.  It is the funniest, cutest thing to watch.  Sometimes she spies them from across the room and gets excited just thinking about grabbing them.

At 5 months, Cordelia has also become super aware of the cats.  She gets excited when she sees them across the room and starts waving her arms and making her happy sounds.  She likes to pet them too.  She seems to get more excited about Willow, even though LBC approaches her far more often.  But Willow has been putting up with her well enough.  Last week, she was crying during tummy time on the floor and Willow walked up to her as if to say, "Stop making all that noise!"  Cordelia started staring at Willow and sure enough, stopped her crying!

((Uh oh, started to write this and didn't get posted.  Moving on....))

On Sunday, Cordelia learned to bounce.  For ages she has been incredibly good at locking her legs while standing.  Lately, she has started bobbing up and down and I call her the boogie butt.  But on Sunday, we sat outside on the balcony and watched a man mowing the lawn below our apartment.  And she was jumping up and down with excitement looking at him.  She jumped and boinged in my lap so much that when I lay her down on our bed, she passed out in the middle of reaching towards her blankie.  Now all she wants to do is bounce!!!!!  Maybe I should get her one of those jumperoo things.

On Sunday night, Cordelia would not stop fussing!  She could not go to sleep, even though she had tons of milk and lots of comfort.  We had to hold her like the whole time and it was such a rough night. We were properly zombified.  I was feeling a bit down, but then I read some blog post that turned up on my Facebook that morning about how a mom always nursed her baby to sleep and thought it much better than both of them being up for hours fussing and crying.  And the nights when it didn't work.... the "Dark Times".... that was when her baby was going through a growth spurt or about to pop out some teeth.  That made me reflect that that was exactly what C was going through.

That afternoon, Auntie Donica had to watch C for a couple of hours and when I picked her up, she was covered in drool.  We talked about teething and I felt around in Cordelia's mouth.  I'd started feeling a lump in her gums a few days before.  And even on the phone Jason had said he thought he could see the outline of teeth that day.  Well, Donica said she thought that it had broken through.  I felt again...... and oh my goodness, that's a tooth!  She had cut her first tooth!!!!!! No wonder the little baby couldn't sleep at night.... the tooth was on it's way.  It's Thursday now, and I'd say the second one is just about up too.  WOW!  They feel just a little bit rough, sharp, and hard but aren't big enough to be an issue for breastfeeding yet.

And today, Cordelia is 6 months old.  I gave a presentation at school and she came with Daddy.  Then we went home and had a bath.  I watched a video where a dad filmed one second of his baby's life every day for the first year.  It reminds me of the #dailybaby that Jason does.  And it had me bawling my eyes out.  She's growing up so fast, changing so much, and it just keeps going and going.  I gotta remember to savor it, to write it all down, to be able to look back when all the little moments that light her up and make us laugh are gone into the void.  Like Jason tossing her lion rattle Alex up in the air and her laughing hysterically.  Or how I will be nursing her on the couch and she will hear Jason in the kitchen and pull her head away to look for him.  Or how she buries her face in my shoulder and pushes her head against my chin SO HARD with all her strength.  Or how cute she is when she is naked on the changing table and draws her knees up and puts her toes in her mouth.  Just the cute shape and her yummy baby skin and her bright eyes looking about.  Oh the exquisite baby-ness of her.  Half a year in our lives and it's still just the very beginning.

5 Months In

It feels like a long time since I posted!  There are a lot of things that I've missed!

One of the main events was a visit from my family!  Mom Mom and Grandpa and Auntie Rebecca all came up for a weekend at the end of October.  I wrote them an email, formally inviting them.  We are going to see them for Thanksgiving, but even by then she will have grown and changed so much.  I'm glad they got to see her... this was only the second time since she was born!  Cordelia had a blast and they all had a great time making her laugh and be silly and getting covered in drool.  My parents really liked getting to see Cordelia playing with the baby toys that had once been mine.  My mom had saved all these neat Johnson and Johnson developmental toys from the 1980s and some of them a really great and so engaging.

My mom and Rebecca cooked up some delicious soup and also a huge pan of roasted vegetables, all with farmer's market ingredients.  We had left overs for almost the whole week--- awesome! We also went out to breakfast at the Original Pancake house, which was incredibly delicious as always.

I have been having continuing duct issues, no fun.  TMI, beware.... Things were clearly backing up from a little white dot on the nipple, so this time I poked it with a sterilized needle, basically the only thing from the internet I hadn't tried.  That worked to get things flowing again at least.  And it didn't hurt either, which is what I was worried about.  But things didn't completely clear up, so around Halloween I decided to just take the stupid antibiotics I got from my doctor's visit.  I did pretty well trying to remember to take 4 pills a day, but there were still at least two days I was short on.  Today is my last day of them and I haven't had a plugged duct the whole time I've been on them.  Connection??????  So did they clear up some infection or am I simply having a good streak?  I have no. f-ing. clue.  We'll see what happens this next week now that I'll have finished them.  I still have that white dot... it is practically painless unless I put a lot of pressure on it, and milk is able to flow through.  So I'm going to leave it alone; just trying to put lanolin on it regularly.

For Halloween, Cordelia tried on various costumes, but her final choice was the Very Hungry Caterpillar.  We got a knit hat from Etsy... super cute.  She wore her green tutu that Stephanie made her.  She looked sooo adorable.  We did not trick or treat, maybe next year!!

As I mentioned above, drool.  Cordelia has been drooling like mad.  We think she is trying to cut some bottom teeth.  Sometimes we put a bib on her, she just gets so soggy.  Or she will need outfit changes because of the wetness.  She has been waking up in the night fussing too.  I had been thinking it's her teeth, but now I am starting to think it is just waking and not knowing how to go back to sleep.  So, about two weeks ago, we have started cosleeping.  She will start the night in her bed, but when she wakes up I will just put her between us for snuggles and so that she can nom on our of our fingers for relief.  The benefit is that I don't have to get all the way up to feed her-- most of the time she can go back to sleep after her first waking.  If she wakes a second time I usually will have to feed her.  If I try and put her back in her bed after sleeping with up, she always wake up almost immediately after or during the transfer.  After a night feeding, I usually try to put her back in her bed and she can sleep there a little while.

Cosleeeping is frowned upon for various reasons... You could squish your baby, blankets could suffocate her, not firm enough mattress, inreased SIDS risk, lots of warnings.  But in the middle of the night, when you have to get up for work in a matter of hours, snuggling down with your warm little baby in bed so you all can get some sleep.... you just end up doing it and you know why everyone else has done it too.  When she's bigger she can learn to put herself to sleep and work on sleeping through the night.

I also was very upset on Friday, due to the dreaded comparing of babies.  I was talking with some other moms about Cordelia's waking and admitted to being on the computer or sometimes watching TV while up in the night.  (ok I don't usually watch tv, but definitely I'm on the laptop because other wise I'm bored).  The other moms where like, wait, how old is she, 5 months?!  Just feed her for like 10-15 mins, don't turn on any lights and then go back to sleep!  This made me feel bad.  Cordelia usually nurses for 30-50 minutes at night.  They said she was comfort nursing.  They meant it in a nice way, like I should be getting some more sleep.  But instead I felt sad, like I'm doing something wrong.  But I know every baby is different and you have to do what works for you (see cosleeping!).  I thought about it some more and I think Cordelia always nurses for at least 30 minutes.  She is not a fast eater.  And maybe she is comfort nursing.  How can I deny her, when I will be away from her all day?  I talked with my mom and she said that we would still eat that long at 5 months and reminded me she won't be doing this for forever.

Hair Tale

Ahh I started this post and never finished!!!  The month is almost over!!

Cordelia finally started to feel better and acting more like herself.  We made it through the wedding ok, but she was not her usual happy self.  There was some light fussing at the start of the ceremony, so I tried to nurse her to keep her quiet.  But she kept thrashing her head about and waving her arms around.  I don't know if she didn't like the nursing cover on, maybe she found it distracting, or what.  Or maybe it's hard to nurse when you aren't feeling well.  Or maybe she wasn't hungry enough--- prememptively feeding her rather than waiting for her to really ask for her milk.  Or maybe she's starting teething along with everything else.  Or all of the above.  Anyway, I stopped feeding her around when the bride entered and she enjoyed standing and being held so she could look around the rest of the time.  She did well but was fussy off and on, and none of her meals were very good due to fussiness.  

She was also fussy on Sunday and had a hard time nursing.  Maybe a little bit of teething too?  It was tough.

On Monday Cordelia had frozen milk for the first time.  Then she also green poop.   And she was pooping all day long, instead of just 1 or 2 times.  Was it the frozen milk?  Was it her shots?  I'm just not sure!!  I read that green poop can be from a fore/hind milk imbalance.  The milk was from August and should still be good, but maybe back then I wasn't producing enough hind milk (cream).

Let's see, what else.  Cordelia has started to suck her thumb a bit, but still likes all the fingers as well.  She has mastered rolling from back to tummy and does it very fast.  She even rolled over on the changing table while nakey.  She was so cute with her little butt up in the air, but then of course she peed all over the table.   I guess we have changing table accidents quite a bit, but that is because between diapers we try and give her just a couple minutes of air time.  She has pretty much out grown her size small cloth diapers and we only have 6 complete diapers for the medium size.  She is growing a lot!  I already bagged up some of her 0-3 clothes.  It made me teary-eyed. She's already out of those tiny outfits.

The next weekend I got Cordelia to take a nap on our bed with me.  I was pretty tired so it was great.  She slept for like 2 hours.  She liked the weight of the comforter over her legs.  I know you are not supposed to put your baby in your bed and beware, beware of blankets and pillows, but oh well.  I'm not fully cosleeping, but it could be useful to help her sleep.  When she got up I did think she was a bit warm from being under the covers, but my mommy-senses were tingling.  Later, I thought she might be warm from being in the car and running errands. But she still felt warm after so I took her temperature!  Ding ding ding!  She did have a fever.  Her first cold!  She had a stuffy nose and was sleepy.  It did not change her mood at all, she was her regular happy self.

On Monday Aunt and Uncle watched her as Meme and Pop Pop were still coming back from Disneyland.  Jonathan said she was "easy-peasie," which made me soooo happy.  You always want your baby to be good for the babysitter, even with their first cold!

It was a tough work week and Jason has hurt his back.  Not good :(

Cordelia's stuffy nose is finally getting a bit runny.

But we still had adventures this weekend, making the trek out to a pumpkin patch.  It was a really nice outing a Cordelia got to wear her cute Halloween dress.  We let her touch the pumpkins and sit on them. She loved the cool breeze blowing in her face on a warm autumn day.  I sat down between two trees to nurse her and while I was there two other moms came and also nursed their babies.  Then I wore her in the ergo... it was excellent!  C took a nap and we did the corn maze.

We got some pumpkins and squash and went home for showers and bath time!  Then it was back out again to Rose and Nick's engagement party.  Cordelia had a great time at the party and stayed up very late and did not want to nurse!  She had gotten up late, after sleeping through the night again and I guess her whole day was pushed back a bit.  Plus she hates to nurse if I have the cover now.

So the capper to the weekend.... sleeping through the night + not eating as much= new plugged duct issues.  The right side this time.  Ouuuuuch! Anoth thing I am wondering is if my breast are kinda used to being pumped on both sides so now when I try nursing on just one side like you're supposed to for the weekend, everything gets fff-ed up, when combined with extra milk from sleeping through the night? Now I am struggling to figure out how to get all the milk out of my plugged boob (it also has a bleb this time) while not neglecting the other breast.

Oh!  And I never posted about why this post was titled Hair Tale.  I originally had wanted to write about how Cordelia has rubbed away most of her side hair and just has very long hair in the front, now coming down to her eyes.  One person described it as a faux hawk, another, lesbian hair, another, a combover.  LOL.  The sad thing is she used to have a little patch of longish hair behind one of her ears, from when she was born.  Sometimes it would get fluffed up and we would call it her Einstein or Mad Scientist hair.  But now it is gone and if I don't write about it, I will forget about that sweet little lock of hair.

4 Month Check Up

Here are the numbers from C's check up

Height: 26 1/2 inches; 97th percentile (off the charts, says the nurse!)
Weight: 13 lbs 14 oz; 50th percentile
Head: 42 cm (50-75th percentile)

I was able to leave work (staff day) and met Jason at the doctor's.  Cordelia loved the doctor's office.  She stared at the giant fish tank.  She had a huge poop when we got into a room, so we changed her on the exam table.  Then she rolled over on her tummy.  She lightly bonked her head against the mirror, but we centered her on the table.  The paper covering was making all these loud crinkling sounds and Cordelia was nuts for it--- she started laughing hysterically at the noise.  Then she drooled so much and the paper ripped and she was trying to get it in her mouth with her tiny fists.

The doctor looked at her tilty neck and said she does have a very mild case of torticollis.  She said it might be good to follow through with that PT referral.  But a while into the appointment she reassessed after seeing Cordelia's head strength and neck support.  She said they'd decide at the 6 month appointment.  She also said we should Aquaphor her neck at all times to help with the redness.

Cordelia got 3 shots and a drink.  They didn't have the Dtap, we are on a wait list for it.  As it turns out, I'm glad she didn't have to get one more shot on top of the rest.  She cried pretty hard, but not as bad as the first time, when there was that shrill scream of pain with her crying.  Then we nursed and Jason took her home and I went back to school.

She started running a fever a few hours later, so Jason gave her some tylenol around the time I was heading home.  She was a little fussier, but still able to play and laugh.  But she was feeling warm still so we gave her a bath.  Last week we started bathing her in the bathtub.  I loved using her baby tub, but she is just getting too long for it and when she kicks with her powerful legs, it was splashing like crazy. Right from the start, Cordelia has loved baths and didn't even mind getting water on her head or barely even objects to droplets on her face or eyes!  But it seemed like she was almost shivering, so we made it a fast bath and got her swaddled.  I fear our swaddling days are coming to an end as Cordelia has been rolling over so much.  I have no idea how she or us will sleep without one, but the night after shots did not seem like a good time to start experimenting.

She was in bed by 10, me around 11.  She was up at 1 with a huge fever, 103*.  It was a little scary, she was cooking!  104* or higher is considered dangerous.   We took her out of her swaddle and covered her with a light blanket while she nursed.  She was awake or fitfully nurse/sleeping for hours.  I tried putting her to bed at 4, but she was up again a short time later.  Jason slept with her on the couch until 8, when I fed her again.

He took her through the rest of the morning; they went on a walk while I got some sleep and a shower. her fever is down to 99/100-ish now.  Hopefully she will feel better soon, we're going to a wedding in an hour!  She is napping on my shoulder until we hav to leave.  We're listening to Dolphin's Lullaby on repeat.

4 Months Old

I wrote this last week, just publishing it now....

Last Saturday (now two Saturdays ago...) was Cordelia's 4 month birthday!  How quickly time has gone by.  When I look at the picture of her at 3 months, I feel like there has been less change than the previous months.   From birth to two months she uncurled and filled out a bit, starting her baby song and smiling for the first time.  But at three months, she was smiley, loved to laugh and wiggle and kick her legs like crazy.  She still does all of those things... her personality had started to come through and we have seen it continue to develop.  Instead, this month was about becoming coordinated.  Cordelia loves to lock her legs and STAND STAND STAND.  She even tries to take little steps as she shifts her weight from foot to foot.  She her neck and head strength have grown dramatically.  Perhaps she is a little less tilty and can definitely turn her head side to side.

The campaign is "Back to sleep, tummy to play" but Cordelia did not find tummy time fun at all.  She cried and squirmed helplessly.  It was so terrible, we didn't like to give it to her.  But we started making an effort.  Jason had a break through one day when he propped her up more by crossing her arms under her.  She liked that much more and would actually hold up her head to look about, drool dribbling out of her mouth.  But at least she wasn't face-planted in a puddle of spit.  That always irritated her skin.  Finally, tummy time became a tiny bit bearable.  And then one day, Cordelia rolled from tummy to back!   She did it several times that day and Jason was able to get a video. She didn't do it again until a week later... Jason joked that it is something she will only do on Thursdays.  And today she rolled from back to tummy!  I was not surprised when I saw Jason's text about it this morning on my break.  Yesterday she was turning on her side and getting really close to rolling, but the arm on her underside was getting in the way.


I am yet to see Cordelia do a full roll.  The life of a working mom, missing the milestones.  Eventually
I'll see it..... :(

Saturday, her actual 4 month bday, was her cousin Rocky's first birthday party.  We had so much fun.  Auntie Alison was visiting us, and she was amazing with Cordelia and also enjoyed playing with cousin Penny.  We took a picture of the three cousins on a blanket.

Cordelia also got to meet some other babies.  One was 8 months old... and they were the same size!!!!  The difference between being in the 100th and the 10th percentile for height, I guess.  Actually Cordelia was maybe a little bit longer.  But Annabelle had even better head control and could do things like sit up and wave.  It was so cute when the daddies were holding the girls and they started reaching for each other!  Now when Cordelia has been noticing her reflection, she starts reaching for it.  I wonder if she thinks it is going to respond like that other baby.  (I know she won't recognize it as herself until at least 16 months).  

UPDATE: I saw her roll over back to tummy at last.  (of course it was a Thursday)  She was so please with herself and got a huge smile.  And last night she was having tummy time on the bed and roll onto her back.  Hooray!!!

The Third month

My last month of maternity leave and my last catch up post, I think!

We did a lot of going out and about and I was having fun being a mommy!  We did my Color Me Mine playdate for 3 girls from school, which was fun for them to see the baby.  Cordelia already loves Guity, she is just a natural baby person!!  After, we went home and changed Cordelia out of her flowered dress and into her white lace vintage-looking dress, so we could go to Steamstock, a steampunk music festival..  We had found the dress at the Gap and it was the only one....and in her size!!  Jason's mom had knitted them both matching aviator caps, so they looked amazing.  Cordelia was on her best behavior, hardly fussing at all, and even got used to her hat.   Everyone loved her and told us about our gorgeous baby, but we already knew that!!

I started visiting school about once a week or so.  I brought Guity some flowers at the kindergarten presentation to thank her for taking care of all the kids.... it was my first time seeing many of the parents!  They were very nice.  We went and got pizza after.  I talked a lot with Joanne and she offered me some of her kids old things, as they were moving.  The next weekend was the graduation picnic.  It wasn't as emotional as it would have been if I'd been around all summer.  I felt like I had made my more "hardest" goodbyes when my maternity leave began.  It got pretty sunny and although we tried to keep Cordelia shaded, she got a light sunburn.  :(  I called the doctor's but they said it didn't sound like she'd need to come in.

 I also went in to work and did some orientations for new families and a meet and greet with the parents.  I left Cordelia for the first time for a few hours, but was able to pick her up from Jason at camp immediately after.

During this month, Cordelia had difficulties sleeping.  Every time I'd set her down in her bed, she would immediately start thrashing and wake up.  I read that sleep experts recommend that babies be placed in bed when they are drowsy but not asleep, so they would learn to fall asleep on their own.  But that did not work for Cordelia!  I bemoaned it as a cruel joke!  Instead, the best advice I received from the internet was to put my clothes in the bed and warm it up with a heating pad.  Heating the bed did the trick and now we always do it before setting her down.  During the day, I was conflicted about trying to make her sleep in her bed (which her naps would only last about 20 mins, max) or if I should work on establishing more set "nap times" for the morning or the afternoon, since it seemed like she might be getting more regular.  Ultimately neither got solidified, especially with me returning to work, but at least she began to stay asleep at night.  And then right around the time she turned three months old, she started sleeping through six or seven hours, before waking! It's been incredible.

I wanted to be sure I made a note about gunk.  When Cordelia was a few days old, my mom commented on the amazing amount of gunk that can gets into a baby's skin folds.  This is true: you will be amazed.  Cordelia's neck was the primary gunk zone, as it was quite inaccessible. Milk, spit up, drool, sweat, all of that collects in the hidden valley's of the neck.  Also we would find a stray cat hair or bits of lint.  EW!   Cordelia's neck folds were always moist and red, and a thin layer of yellowish crud.  Eventually the crust would get kinds dry or just think enough and it would flake off or be enough to rub off.  Also, it REEKED  I was worried she had yeast growing in there, but the doctor did not think it was yeast at her 2 month appointment when I asked him about it.        He did not give me any advice that resolved it; I think it was a pointless battle.  But we tried putting some cornstarch in the folds to dry it out.  A mom at school suggested Aquaphor, which maybe did a bit more for the redness than the cornstarch.  I did a bunch of googling and found a really entertaining blog post someone had written about stinky baby neck cheese, comparing it to all kinds of fine fromage.  I really enjoyed it, wish I still had the link.  The other place Cordelia gets gunk is behind her ears. For some reason, the folds of her ears get a little oozy it seems, and then it dries into a fine layer of crust.  The only thing that has really helped the battle against gunk is Cordelia gaining more neck support.  Around when she reached 11/12 weeks old, she started getting more of a neck.  This still has not put an end to the neck cheese, but at least we are seeing more improvement.  

The Napping House

Cordelia's favorite book is Don and Audrey Wood's The Napping House.  This is also one of my all time favorite books from my childhood, and it is also the first book that Mom-mom and Grandpa bought for "Baby Bear" all those months ago!  However, we mainly read her the giant board book version that I have.  Jason read it to her for the first time and she immediately got into the rhythm of it all and was singing back to him as he read to her.  Since then, he has basically memorized the whole book and yesterday he recited it to her as got her ready to go to Mimi's for a few hours (he had work and I had scheduled a school related home-visit).  We packed the smaller sized Napping House in the diaper bag for travel!

Today, Cordelia was fussing and he sat her down in his lap and read her the big book version.  Immediately she calmed down!

Cordelia continues to sleep through the night like a champion!!  She was in bed by 10, but I woke her up coughing!  Damn cold!  She cried and then went back to sleep immediately, on her own! I thought she was going to wake at 6, so I fed the cats who were bullying me anyway.  But she stopped stirring and slept until 7:40!!!!

Today we went to the mall and I got a haircut.  I haven't had a haircut since the first week of April, and my hair was getting quite long and nasty at the ends.  Plus, my hair got thicker during pregnancy and now it has become time for that hair to fall out.  Super gross each time I take a shower!!  Hopefully getting a trim will help my hair get some new life.  I only took off 2 inches, as I wear my hair tied back so often.

It was a pretty quiet day.  We watched a lot of Breaking Bad.

Cordelia took only short naps.  Jason says she has been sleepier when I am at work, but from what I can tell, she loves to be awake.  She got sleep even earlier tonight.  It is probably for the best that bedtime keeps creeping earlier.  She had been taking an evening nap and going to be around 11, then 10:30, then 10 and tonight she was in bed by 9:30.  She started getting tired around 7:30-ish and dozed on my shoulder.  But she was awakened when I tried to turn her head and fussed enough that we could tell it was time for bed, not a nap. So we got her in her huggies and her swaddle and I nursed her to sleep.  Maybe it is not the best long term solution, but letting her fall asleep nursing and being all filled up helps her sleep the night away.

Well, best be getting to bed myself.  We'll see if I can actually read more than a few paragraphs of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone....

School's In

Leaving your 3 month old to go take care of 22 three year olds is a bit mind boggling, but such is my life now!

Maternity leave made me loose my teacher immune system, so by the end of the first day I had a cold!  Stuffy snotty nose and scratchy throat.  And I am no longer able to talk nonstop 8 hours a day, so it has turned into laryngitis.  So now I have noooooo voice at all.  Plus I am worried Cordelia will get her first cold.  Maybe she'll have a strong immune system, like Dad....

Cordelia and Jason seem to have done just fine this week. He was off the whole time, plus MeMe is out of town on the cruise to Alaska!  Cordelia has had plenty of milk and taken her bottles well.  Jason is much more likely than me to take her out, so they ran lots of errands.  They even got me flowers at the farmer's market for my return to school!  She seems in good spirits and is a happy baby.  I feel like in just a few days Jason is even more strongly attuned to her than before, taking care of her every need.

 She has continued to have marathon nursing sessions, probably from missing me, which means she is still, somehow, sleeping through the night!!

Pumping at work is taking some time to figure out.  At first my 20 minutes breaks were at logical times 9:30, 12:40, and 3:30.  Close to when she was eating too.  But from a classroom perspective, it was terrible!  I was always in the middle of a huge transition, like clean up/snack/potty/circle time and lunch/cleanup/nap.  I was soooo rushed and stressed when I'd get back there, it would take forever to let-down.  After two days, I told my director it just wasn't working, and I'd rather just push pumping back later than be gone during those essential times.  So now it's 10:30, 1:40, and 3:40.... Though my afternoon break is not a full 3 hours between the previous break.  Part of me is wondering about going down to just two breaks, maybe 10:30 and 2:00?  Then I could take half-hours, instead of 20 mins, which is NOT enough time.  It seems like when I am less rushed, I pump a decent amount.  We still have surplus milk for her, so shortage of an immediate supply is not the concern.  But just getting through mastitis, I don't want to pump too little!  She is still having 3 bottles a day, so I should probably be pumping three times, right??  If I go down to two, will my milk supply decrease too much?  Or would it even out?

Breast issues continue for me.  The mastitis has cleared from my right boob, but I have a milk blister/bleb that is so far painless.  (I had one before and it was SUPER painful for like half a day, though it had mostly gone down by the time I made it to see the lactation consultant, who made me feel like I was being a wuss about nothing.)  Then I got a second one last night on the same nipple, but this one came off right away, leaving a tiny raw spot that stings a bit when she nurses.  Sigh, I am not sure if all this is because one time I didn't position my breastshield well when pumping or (maybe more likely) because Cordelia has an imperfect latch.  It is always too tight and she doesn't open her mouth big enough. I try pulling her lower lip down, like the lactation consultant showed me, but it never seems to do anything.  Sigh, this isn't the most terrible, but still I wish it were easier, especially now that we're past the 3 month mark!

Other memories....

Cordelia laughed hysterically when I buzzed like a bee.  She also loved Jason hissing and gurgling at her.  He said he was speaking Parseltongue to her.

Today she found her feet on her own!  I've been putting her hands on them for ages, trying to get her to realize.... there are piggies down there!  She did it once on the changing table and then several times throughout the day.  It was neat, as I've been watching for her to do that, and I'm pretty sure I got to be there for the first time she did it. Glad I didn't miss it!

Jason reads The Napping House to her, and she starts her baby song as she gets into the rhythm of the story.

She loves to "stand" and be lifted in the air now.  She hates tummy time and cries so much, we don't like to give it to her.  "Back to sleep, tummy to play" they say, but the result is definitely not playing!!  But I want to start working on her neck muscles more, given her tilty head.  My friend's baby is younger and has already rolled over!!

Cordelia is fascinated by her reflection.  She makes eye-contact with the mirror baby and her lips turn up in a smile.  Sometimes she smiles even bigger and gets happy.  I started taking her on a "tour" of all the mirrors in our house (bathroom, bedrooms, and hall) to get all the Mirror Smiles.  Jason really got into it and takes her on tours all the time.

I love covering her in smoochies and nibbling on her tum tum.  Between diaper changes (if she hasn't gotten dressed in an outfit), I love getting "nakey baby time" with her.  Who knew that nakey babies are the bestest?  ha ha, at least that is what I tell her.  She is just so yummy.

Hmmm, she zonked out a little early tonight.  She only had one long nap in the afternoon, so I am not surprised.  But usually with her longer nursing sessions, she has been "topped off" and I think it helps her sleep through the night.  Tonight, she definitely did not get much before becoming so out of it, she was not even sleep-eating.  Will tonight break the streak??? I hope she lasts at least until 5.

Return to Work

I've been in and out of work a few times since mid-August, when Paid Family Leave time ended.  It worked out quite well.  Sometimes I brought Cordelia, but twice I left her with Jason in the morning so I could do orientations with new families.  My first time going out without her!  It felt funny to be in the car and not have her in the back seat.  I was able to pick her up from Jason, who took her to camp, so she was only minutes away and I only missed one feeding, if that.

Cordelia became 14 weeks old when I went back full time for our teacher institute week.  But three of those days were spent on classroom prep, so Jason came to help out and we were able to have her there in the afternoons.  She did very well and barely fussed at all through the chaos.  She did get to spend two days at MeMe's house, once just the morning, the other all day.

Tuesday I had to be away the whole day.  We went to the exploratorium and then back to the MV school for training.  At the exploratorium, I figured, hey! this is San Fracisco.  I asked if they had a nursing room so I could pump and they DID.  Much more comfortable than standing around in the bathroom like my original plan.

Going back through Bay Area traffic was tough.  Fortunately, we decided to carpool.  Unfortunately, my coteacher got in someone else's car and they decided to get dinner to avoid some of the traffic.  All of us forgot she was blocking me in the driveway!  My ride took me home, and I planned to just leave my car overnight until I was informed the next morning was garbage day.  (I was in front of the dumpster!!).  I was too tired to go back out, so Jason and Nick went to get my car, while I nursed Cordelia.  She nursed for the whole time that it took them to get there, come back, and then through hanging out.  Over an hour and a half!!  She continued to have marathon nursing sessions through the week.  Heidi guessed that it was because she missed me, missed the closeness to mama.  I realized she was probably right!

The trade off to these long fill-ups was.....She slept through the night every night this week. YAY!

On the days we worked in our classrooms, Jason would join us around 1 or 2 and he would bring Cordelia.  She was super mellow most of the time and he was able to help us a lot.

I knew going back to work would be hard, and it is. There is a little ache that doesn't go away when you have to leave your baby.  Also, I moved more slowly than I'd like... I mean, this week you are always doing 100 things at once and it was harder for me and I got tired.  We'll see how it goes when there are actual kids there today!!!!!

The Second Month

The second month was a time of overall improvement.  It was during this time I made my post about how everyday is not like the next:  some days went quite smoothly, others Cordelia was hard to console and I was very worn out by the end.  But in general, my body was recovering from having given birth and I started to have more energy. It was surprising to feel it coming back, even with little sleep.  It made me realize how draining being pregnant had been to my energy levels.  Making a person was hard work!  We started going on evening strolls around the neighborhood.  Breastfeeding improved a lot, though sometimes her latch still felt very tight as she wouldn't open her mouth as wide as she could.  But it got easier to be out of the house and do stuff, as she could wait a little longer between feedings.

Around the first week of July or so we had a whole 7 day long heatwave, everyday reaching tripple digits.  And there was no wind even at night and with air conditioning only in the living room, our apartment could not cool down.  I was nervous to swaddle Cordelia at night and that she would still overheat, but with two fans running and the window open, she did ok.  By day, I took naps on the couch under the air conditioning,  while holding Cordelia.  It actually let me get quite a bit of rest and she loved being so close to me.

I brought Cordelia to school to see my group a few times.  Everyone was glad to see me and meet Cordelia.  Maylis told the kids they could only touch her toes, which helped me feel a little better about her being around all the preschooler germs.  I wiped her feet when I got home though!  But she didn't get sick from her visits and actually slept through a lot of the noise.  She sleeps really well in busy, loud places, like restaurants too.  The general humming just becomes white noise.   A five year old boy told me her feet felt soft like an apricot.  I was so impressed with his creative imagery.  

This month we started cloth diapering.  Judy had passed on her gdiapers to us.  They have a cloth cover, a nylon snap-in liner, and have a fleece/hemp insert for catching the pee and poop.  There is more hardware than with disposable diapers, so it takes a bit longer to change, but not much, when you consider how much time you normally spend at the changing table, kissing tummies and bicycling legs. (We always sing a song I made up: "I like to ride, I like to ride, I like to ride my bicycle.  All over the town.  All over the town.")  We do rinse poopy diapers in the toilet with a sprayer we invested in, before adding them to the laundry wet bag.  I wish our apartment had its own washing machine, but even having to pay for diaper loads is ultimately saving us money, maybe around 10 cents a diaper instead of 20-25, if we wait to wash diapers until we run out of our supply.  We still use disposables often when going out, although we sometimes take a wet bag, and she wears huggies to bed as they seem the most absorbent.  I'm glad Jason is committed, I am not sure if I would stick with it as much.  Disposables do have the convenience factor and they can hold more.  But we actually haven't had much beyond minor leaks with the gdiapers, not many huge blowouts.  Once we stopped closing the disposable diapers too loosely, I actually discovered an appreciation of Pampers (though at first they were the leakiest!).  I got a bunch of pampers as gift bags, and even a whole diaper cake from one of the classrooms at school.  So I am still going through those, if she should need to wear a disposable during the day time.

So yes, cloth diapering, driving a hybrid car, and... making trips to the farmer's market.  Jason said Cordelia was officially a hippy baby.  It was really fun going to market on Tuesday mornings and getting fresh produce.  I will miss going as a family when I return to work.

Cordelia was a very smiley baby.  When she  felt happy, she showed it by entirely lighting up.  She started talking and cooing and making all kinds of noises to express herself.  We called it singing her Baby Song.  She laughed for the first time before she turned 8 weeks old, pretty early as I understand it.  It was in the midst of a very fussy day... Jason had gone in to work on a Sunday and I was alone with her all day and evening.  I grabbed my camera to record it for him.  And once we had heard the sound of her adorable laugh, we performed like fools trying to get her to do it again.  Farts, raspberries, and trills all eventually became sure fire ways to set her giggling.

For the first two months Cordelia had pretty bad flare ups of baby acne.  She had red spots all over her face and was very blotchy.  She also had funky gunk on her eye brows, more of a crust like cradle cap would be.  A nurse said I could put olive oil on her eyebrows and scrub it with a tooth brush.  It took me a while to try it, but it did help.  We wondered if the acne was a reaction to soap at bath time, but we were told no, it was hormonal.  All her pores were getting used to being in the air.  By her 2 month well baby check up, her face was finally starting to show signs of clearing up.  But the eye brow crust was coming back and full on cradle cap were setting in, so it was a trade off.  We saw Dr. Huang for the first time and I really liked him, so unless she ever gets Kaiser insurance again, I think I will take her to him.  He recommended a bit of cortizone cream to put on her eyebrows and that it could clear up in as fast as a day.  It did work quickly!  I tried olive oil on her head for the cradle cap, or crap as I should say, but it turns out baby oil worked much better.  It is great to no longer have to deal with the temptation of picking at it while breastfeeding.

At 2 months, Cordelia was a full two feet long and weighed 11 lbs 6 oz.  She was in the 95th percentile for height and the 50-75th for weight.  She had to have five shots and one drink for her first round of immunizations.  I was pretty freaked out about it, no doubt spurring my panic when I discovered her car seat straps had become twisted when I was trying to leave for the appointment.  I called Jason in a frenzy, with Cordelia screaming, trying to take the car seat apart to untwist it.  Ay!  Not a parenting moment I want to relive.  The looming shots made me even more stressed.  Poor baby, it was the first time I heard her cry in pain--- a sound I shall not forget.  I nursed her as soon as they were done sticking her and she was smiling by the time we left.  She ran a fever that evening and night, but it did not seem to bother her too much.

New Problem

So three months in and breastfeeding problems can still occur.  Cordelia is going longer between feedings, sometimes 4 hours by day and she has been sleeping in long stretches by night, sometimes 5-8 hours.  And while I am grateful for this, my boobs (particularly the right boob), have yet to clue in to produce less milk.  So she is eating the same, or sometimes maybe even smaller shorter amounts and not fully emptying my enormous boobs.  Leading to ENGORGED BOOBS (particularly the right boob).  It is so frustrating and uncomfortable, let me tell you.  Your baby is done eating and your boob still feels so HEAVY and by the time she is going to eat on that side again, you feel like there is going to be a boob-slposion.  Last night, I started feeling like I am getting Jason's cold, which made me feel like I had been hit with a truck... achy all over!  I tried pumping my right boob, thinking to lighten it a bit, while Jason gave her a bottle.  She was due to eat again on the left side for the next feeding... but she ended up going to bed.  I got up at midnight and pumped, which was a good thing since she slept until 6 AM.

This morning my right boob was starting to get reddish patches...... t seems from not getting completely emptied I have developed mastitis.  So maybe not Jason's cold, as I felt like I was having flu like symptoms.  I talked to Kaiser and got some antibiotics over the phone!

So, tomorrow I return to work, having spent my last precious day of maternity leave dealing with this delightful problem.  Currently sterilizing tons of pump parts and bottles to return to work.  It will probably take me some time to figure all this out.  Personally, I am thinking that pumping may be a good thing if it lightens my supply just enough.  I would be so happy to drop a cups size.  Or two or three.  At this rate though, I will just settle for a fully empty boob.

Happy 3 Month Birthday

I can't believe I have a three month old!  Cordelia is so beautiful and getting so big already.  I'm getting very skilled at typing one handed, so I will try and post more often.  There are so many moments I wish I written down that are now, poof, gone into the ether.  So even if they are short, I'll try and jot them down.

Last night we laughed so hard trying to swaddle Cordelia.  She sleeps in these pocket style swaddles that velcro together.  If she doesn't wear them, she wakes up much faster and more frequently.  They help keep her from startling as much at every little sound, like sqeaky floor boards and mattress springs.  Anyway, last night Jason was starting to swaddle her and each time he got one leg into the leg-pocket and went to put the other one in.... she would pull the first leg back out.  It was like a comedy routine, of Cordelia happily kicking her leg free and Jason exclaiming "Hey!  Put that leg back!  Hey!  Put that leg back!" She did it over and over and we doubled up laughing hysterically.  She gave me a confused look, not used to us laughing so hard and so loud.

This morning she was crying with hunger as I changed her diaper.  She was wailing impatiently, nostrils flared, so I took the opportunity to pick a huge booger out of her nose with my finger.  YES, I picked my child's own nose!  And not for the first time, I might add, but I did it quite skillfully.

Aaaand she just spit up all over herself and our couch.  Now I know why my parents never bought a new couch until we were in high school.  Our couch was one of our big household purchases and I was very proud of it.  Hopefully it will last well, though it is currently becoming covered in attractive spit up stains on a regular basis.

....

Another 3 month milestone to report!  Cordelia just fell asleep in her bassinet unassisted!  We had a great Awake Time together post spit up, in which I was lifting her, bouncing her, and helping her "stand" and sit down in my lap.  She was having a grand time and we were both smiling and laughing joyfully.  I gave her smoochies on her cute cheeks and worked on getting her to turn her neck the other way (she always turns to one side).  She is a wonderful, wonderful baby!  Anyway, in my mommy mind, while we were playing, I was thinking, this is quite a workout for her. After all this exercise, she is going to be very tired.  So after we wound down, I did a quick diaper check (dry) and put her in her bed.  I gave her the Winkle, which she held and sucked on.  I made a quick bathroom trip and then peeped in at her.  She was still holding the Winkle.  She dropped a few times and I (standing out of view) just replaced it in her hands.  She barely noticed me and definitely no eye contact.  Eventually she dropped the Winkle again and started sucking on her hands.  (She has yet to find her thumb, preferring the whole fist. For the record, she hates pacifiers.)  And then my little baby fell asleep!  I plucked the Winkle out of the bed without disturbing her. I have her on the baby monitor now and she hasn't woken up yet.  On facebook I have bemoaned the fact that sleep experts recommend putting your baby to bed when drowsy, but not yet asleep, when Cordelia certainly never does this.  But I can see the logic and it has been my hope to accomplish it.  Her unswaddled bassinet naps never seem to last much beyond 30 minutes max (usually like 10 mins, leading to very tired baby later in the day).  But I am so proud of her no matter what.  It is a big accomplishment to self-soothe!!  Good job Cordelia!!

The First Month

During the first month, we had a steady stream of visitors.  Various friends and co-workers all came to see Cordelia, like Gillian and Jim, Nick, Stephanie, and Rose.  Simone came, the first time we'd seen each other since 2009.  She was awesome and cleaned our house for us and was just generally so helpful.  We watched tons of episodes of Say Yes To the Dress, because my mental abilities were nil.  Auntie Alison, or should I say Dr. Turtledove, having graduated, made it to meet Cordelia when she turned one month old.

At her two week well baby check, she had regained her birth weight.  The doctor commented on how alert she was!  She was always looking around.  They measured her again at 22 and a 1/4 inches.  My mom said she could not have grown two inches already, that maybe her birth measurement of 20.5 inches was off (she was quite curled up).  Anyway, they said 100th percentile for height.  My long baby.

At 9 days old, we went to see our photographer friend Shoey for Cordelia's new born portraits.  It was an exciting experience, and the results turned out amazing.   Cordelia wanted to do everything during the photoshoot. Sometimes she was awake, others asleep, eaing, or crying.  It gave us a fun range of pictures, not just of a sleepy newborn.  But she is very sweet as she sleeps:

Jason went back to work after two weeks, which left me alone with Cordelia 6-8 hours or so a day.  I was not very happy about this, as it happened when baby blues were hitting me.  I was overwhelmed.

That first month I had horrible horrible times trying to deal with important things because I just felt so overwhelmed, I couldn't bear confusing forms.  But I got my disability leave settled and money started getting transferred after the stupid waiting period.  Health insurance gave me all kinds of problems and I have applied for medical for some sort of affordable option, since my work insurance option was astronomical ($700/month).  It has been slow goings.  Medical sent her a card, but two months later I am still waiting to hear if she can stay in the program.  Scanning pay stubs and such was so stressful, especially with websites not working as they should and having to call tech support.  I just couldn't handle it at the time, on top of having just given birth and struggling with breastfeeding discomfort and lack of sleep.  I was plagued with guilt that I wasn't taking care of my child properly.  My mom insisted the only thing I was guilt of was ignorance of the process and that just to take care of one thing at a time.  Cordelia's Kaiser coverage ran out at 1 month after birth and there was a brief lapse between that and the start of when  her crappy Blue Shield plan that I signed her up for began.  I was terrified something would happen to her in that time.  On the last day of her Kaiser insurance, I took her in because of pinkness in her eye.  I was worried she had pink eye from her cousin.  The nurse agreed her eye wasn't as clear as it could be, so we got some drops that I used for a week until it finally, finally cleared up.

I was also super worried about her bellybutton, as she knocked her cord stump off at 10 days old and it was still gooey and oozed a light amount of pus for over a month.  But the doctor assured me it was normal.  UG!  That was definitely a surprise.  I had no idea how and stinky huge the cord stump would be and did not expect the icky flat part from where it was clamped.  Cordelia became aware of it and kept knocking it, so even with our best efforts to keep it dry and protected, she just knocked it off before it was fully dried up.  If she ever is dissatisfied with how her belly button turns out as an adult, I will tell her it is all her own fault.  It took forever to heal and I'm still not sure if it is an innie or an outie.

Talking with Donica helped ease the last of my baby blues, it was good to hear from another mom who had been through it.  And eventually, I started feeling less stressed and more competent by day (although nights were still sometimes trying).

The first month was a time of figuring things out and trying not to freak out about being responsible for a new life.  You're in wonder, in awe, and also sometimes scared because you don't know what's normal and what isn't.  Your boobs hurt and you are sleep deprived and you watch a LOT of TV because your brain can't handle sitting up, alone, feeding your baby at all hours for hours and hours.  You try and sleep when your baby is sleeping, but that also comes at the cost of time needed to go to the bathroom, eat something because you are constantly hungry from burning calories producing milk, or take a shower.  And by then your baby is awake again.  Jason did great keeping me supplied with two water bottles at all times.  It took me about 8 weeks to fully recover from giving birth too.

Fortunately, in all of this, Cordelia was a great baby right from the start.  She has her fussy times, but in general she has a sweet, happy disposition.  We were in love with her from the start and just couldn't get over her cuteness.  Jason loves getting pictures of her smiling, which she seemed to do so often, even before social smiles emerge.  She was fascinated by "her" mirror at the changing table and would stare at all the moving shapes in it.    Jason and I failed at diapering though.  Even though I've chaned many kid diapers, I'd never done a baby's.  We were making them too loose, because we were afraid that too tight would bother her.  Turns out, tight is a must, pull those tabs until they meet in the middle or are even overlapped a bit... Her diapers were leaking regularly, adding sheet changes to our late night activities.  The pee would just flow up her back and out, not even touching the diaper!  Noob mistake, fortunately brother in law Jonathan set us straight.  Oh yes, and for the first three weeks or so we didn't use wipes.  As recommended by doctors, we used these thick paper towel like things Kaiser sent us home with and warm water.  We got smart and kept a thermos by the changing table.  Cordelia did fine when we at last ran out of the towels and switched to wipes.  We started cloth diapering (not exclusively) the following month....

I used to say, "I'm nursing my young!"  Her sweet nursey-face was like a little puppy or some sort of animal... it really reminded me, yes, you are a MAMMAL!  Sometimes she will throw an arm over her head as she nurses; I call it her woe-is-me pose.  I constantly tell her, "You can have all the milkies you want, little girl," so she knows the good stuff is just for her and she can nurse as much as she likes.

My first solo outing with her was to the WC OFS, where the teachers were having a staff day.  I arrived  around lunch time.  Heidi saw me walking in the parking lot and her mouth fell open in excitement and maybe she gasped.  Seeing her face,  Alex said she imagined that Susan was being chased by the wild turkeys that roam around.  No idea why that popped into her head, but pretty hilarious.  Everyone was so excited to see her (and me).  And it made me feel pretty good.  Still, for the most part, I prefer going out with Jason there as support.

The last crazy thing we did that first month, which I do not recommend for exhausted new moms, is buy a car.  We'd been looking for some time, and had some money designated for the downpaymet, as Jason's old car would stall, especially in hot weather.  With summer arriving and with a new baby, it just wasn't a safe option and I was dreading the day it would die for good, most likely in the middle of the free way or busy street. Jason saw a car he didn't want to pass up, a 2010 Honda Insight, with good mileage and even the color we liked (silver).  So we got things rolling, and bought a car.  It took a couple of days after initially checking it out to go to filling out all the paperwork and getting the best deal that we could.    Jason is a proud hybrid driver, to keep Cordelia safe and eco friendly.  Now I was officially, officially a grown up.  I'd birthed a baby, and I'd bought my first car without familial assistance.  The car was ours on Cordelia's one month birthday!

Discoveries

At 11 weeks old, Cordelia began to notice toys and try and touch and play with them.  That week she also started sticking her tongue out a lot, so I would say to her, "I learned to stick my tongue out and now I do it all the time."  in a cute voice.  But she has already moved on from this new trick.

At 12 weeks, she really likes toys now.  She likes looking in mirrors and holding stuff, especially a crinkly baby paper toy and trying to touch stuff on her swing bar and her playmat.  She is no longer scared of her 1980s crib toy... a big plastic thing with parts to bat at and a huge ball in the middle with beads in it to roll and make a huge sound.  Still startles her a little if somone else does it unexpectedly.   She also likes to touch more and has started holding her own hands and also raising her hands to study them a bit.  She still hasnt found her toes on her own, but I am trying to show her.... there are piggies down there!!

At the Five Little Monkeys Toy Store in downtown Walnut Creek, I saw this toy called a Winkle.  I thought it would appeal to Cordelia, with its slender loops, easy to grasp, and great for two handed play.  It was a good call, because she loves it.  She puts it in her mouth and has even held it with her feet.  It can also be refrigerated for teething down the road.

She also slept through the night, like 7-8 hours, twice.  Unfortunately, I was awake for long periods in anticipation of her,which meant not getting as much rest as I could have.  Jason is a much better sleeper than me.  He falls asleep instantly and he can sleep through her stirring and sometimes even a few cries.  He can even fall asleep sitting up, which I definitely can't do!  I take a long time to drift off and snap instantly awake and on high alert at the slightest noise from her.

I thought she looked so cute in this onesie.

   But it turned out it was even cuter as a hat. 

Rocking my onesie hat, new look sweeping the world of baby fashion.

The back view.

The First Days At Home

I'm writing this for a page in Cordelia's baby book, but thought I'd share here too.


The first days at home were definitely a learning curve for the new parents.  Jason was eager to get out of the hospital since the chair-bed was so uncomfortable.  I did not enjoy being rushed, but we made it.  We finally were ready to leave in the evening; Cordelia did not fuss at all for her first car ride!  When we got home, our cats Willow and LBC were so happy to see us!  They did not mind the baby at all!  In fact, shy LBC wanted to climb right in my lap.

My parents and Auntie Rebecca came over and brought us Subway sandwiches.  Jason went to bed, but I stayed up because I was supposed to feed Cordelia every 2 or 3 hours or something like that.  But she would not wake up for boob at all--she just kept sleeping!  My parents tried to tell me it was pointless, and that sleeping babies should be left to do just that--sleep!  But I was frustrated because she wasn't doing what she was "supposed to" and I was worried that she wouldn't be getting enough to eat.  She had also slept through the night her first night in the hospital, so I also "missed" the 2-3 hour feedings and Cordelia had gone down 7% of her birth weight or something---basically close to bottom of the normal birth weight loss that Kaiser allows.  I was worried she would lose more!    But eventually she woke up (around the time I decided to try and sleep, naturally) and I don't think we got much sleep that night.

Breastfeeding took a while to learn, as neither Cordelia nor myself had done it before!  Fortunately, I had no problems with my milk supply.  It was pretty neat to wake up one morning and see the colostrum has turned white: Hey! I made milk! The main thing was trying to master a "correct" latch so that there wouldn't be any discomfort.  She was able to latch, but my nipples are on the flat side and took a long time to come out more. Cordelia often wanted to "cluster feed" not just within the first two days, but within the first two weeks!  She would often want to eat every hour and I would just have to feed her on demand!  Also, I got "mommy wrist" for the first weeks from holding my boob all the time, but with time, it went away.  Another thing about breastfeeding that nothing can really prepare you for: it completely immobilizes you.  If you thought it was getting difficult to get around when pregnant, managing that cumbersome belly, that is nothing until you have an infant suctioned to your boob.  Things that you want/need, that are mere feet away from you, sometimes just beyond your very fingertips... are suddenly unreachable.  Things like water bottles, tv remote controls, kleenex boxes, blankets, cell phones... you can't get to it.  Or you'll be trying to pick up stuff you dropped off the couch with your feet.

During the first week, my parents and Rebecca stayed in town; it was nice having them visit every day. One of the best parts was that my mom and  Rebecca cooked amazing dishes for us.  It was so good to have elaborate home-cooked food, especially after hospital fare.  They made a pasta salad, soups, a vegetable stew, and Rebecca's Moroccan mushroom and rice recipe....  They also made us banana chocolate chip and blue berry muffins, which made not only great breakfasts, but also excellent midnight snacks.  The first few weeks of breastfeeding made me ravenous.  It was funny, after being pregnant when your stomach is so squished it gets full really fast!

It was also nice having someone to hold Cordelia while we could try and catch a few naps.  I had to convince Jason to nap because he would want to hold out at as long as possible without one.  But it was a relief to have a few moments for just the two of us to relax and actually sleep.  I remember snuggling down in bed and looking at him and saying, "I didn't think it was possible, but these last few days I love you even more than ever before."  It was a great feeling.

Another favorite memory I have of those days is when the cooks in the kitchen had something they were preparing get a little smokey.  Nothing serious, our range and oven have been known to do that if they get anything on them.  But it was enough to make the smoke detector go off.  Rebecca was quite offended, but my dad started singing "Burning Down the House" to Cordelia.  Jason and I were in the bedroom, but we could hear him.  Jason said to me, "Your dad is so cute."

When Cordelia was a week old, my family returned to Socal.  I was very sad indeed to see them go; it was so special to see my parents holding with my baby.  With them so far away, they will miss seeing how she grows and changes and all of her cuteness in person.  Fortunately, we have phones and photos and the internet... maybe we will even video chat sometime.  Jason takes 1 photo a day which he posts on Facebook.  He dubbed it the #dailybaby and takes it very seriously.  I thought I would be able to blog on at least a pretty regular basis during my maternity leave--- ha ha, she laughs as she types this over several days, currently one handed due to nursing baby.  So the #dailybaby photos will be an incredible record of Cordelia's activities and a way to track her growth and development!  This blog will be here......when I have time!

Home from the hospital, in my purrfect onesie.

Trying to eat Grandpa's shirt. 

  

Skin to skin time with Daddy.

LBC visits while Mom figures out breastfeeding

Three generations of Turtledove women

Support, Please

I finally bought an underwire nursing bra today.  I went to Nordstrom's for it.  They had a somewhat limited selection that would fit me, but that was ok, since I was mainly just looking to get one and see how I do.  I have been wearing a sleeping bra, which made me kind of lopsided if not perfectly adjusted, or some nursing tank tops, which have built in "bras" that do not even really fit me.  So mainly around the house I just end up wearing the one nursing pajama top I have that has the lightest support ever, but ultimately is the most comfortable.  Either way, when I actually got dressed to go out, I haven't been wearing anything that gives me much "lift" or good figure when I go out.  So yes, today I bought a real underwire bra.

Size 34H!

*dies*

Hopefully the underwire won't give me any clogged ducts.  

Every Day is Not Like The Next....

Well, I wanted to sum up some of what has gone on in the last 7 weeks, but I'll just jump in and blog a bit.

Thursday was one of the best days ever in terms of sleep!  Cordelia put herself down for a nap in her bassinet all by herself!  I put her down when I was brushing my teeth and when I came back she was drifting off.  I turned on the baby monitor (the click almost woke her!) and tip toed away!  She slept for hours!  This was also the first time she slept in bed for a long time without a swaddle.  Actually, she did wake a few times with her stirring and moving, but was able to go back to sleep.  I took a nap on the couch so as not to wake her.

That night, with us both quite well rested, we went to Alt. Dance in the city and saw our swing dancing friends.  They were so excited to see Cordelia and many wanted to hold her.  She was on her best behavior and charmed them all.  It was really fun getting to dance with Jason again-- I'd forgotten how much I love to dance with my husband!  It is such a wonderful feeling.

And honestly, going to Alt. Dance for the first time since birth and the first time in a long time since I was pregnant.... I was honestly feeling as if I had more energy now than when I was pregnant.  Lately, I have been realizing how draining being pregnant really was.  I mean, I knew I was tired, but I was still focusing on charging forth, working 6 days a week.  But now, even on days when I don't get much sleep, I am still able to power through.  Everyone says it's a fantasy that your maternity leave will be a "vacation" from work, but honestly, I haven't gotten to spend this much time at home in years and it does have a lot of nice elements.

But not all the time!

Friday, she screamed much of the day and wouldn't even really take a nap without me holding her.  I tried many times to put her down in her bassinet, but she would immediately wake up.  I gave in around 4 oclock and napped holding her on the couch.  I've been trying not to do that too much, since I know it isn't the "safest" form of sleep.

We didn't have the best night either, so I waffled on plans to go to the State Fair with Jason's family.  It has become an annual tradition to go to the State Fair and I really wanted to go.  But I canceled, knowing I needed more rest.  I was able to get some more rest in the early morning, and afternoon we ultimately decided to go and join the family.  When we made it out to Sacramento, it was almost 4.  It was still very hot, but in the 90s, compared to the previous week of 100s.  We met up with the Katayanagis in one of the Cal Expo areas, and they had an exhibit of Science Fiction and Super Hero movie stuff.  R2D2 was there, along with Batman and a huge Iron Man sculpture.  They even had a fake Tardis, which we took pictures with!

After that, we had dinner-- I got a veggie panini  and a steamed artichoke.  Then I had to nurse Cordelia.  It was evening, but still very hot and using the breastfeeding cover was an uncomfortable tent...we were both sweaty and not having a great feeding session, even in the shade.  But we made it through and then Cordelia got to have happy times hanging out at the table.  Pop Pop commented on how impressed he was that she could already lock her legs!

We stayed through nightfall, taking cousin Penny to the petting zoo and walking around some of the shopping areas.  Then it was time to change a diaper and look for a place to nurse.  We had some fun times changing a poopy diaper of a crying, hungry baby and realizing we were down to just 2 wipes.  (some family members had used some of ours with the kids at dinner). I improvised and grabbed a burp cloth instead!  Then I fed Cordelia at one of the kitchen ware demonstration stations--- the lady was all done for the night and didn't mind me asking to use on of her folding chairs.  It was much much better to be inside with the air conditioning!  Then, of course, Cordelia pooped again!  I sent Jason off to get wipes from Auntie Donica!

After that, Cordelia was very happy and snuggly.  I held her while we had some snacks and a fireworks show started!  Penny loved the fireworks, but they startled Cordelia.  I held her close and danced around enough that the booms of the fireworks no longer disturbed her. It was really wonderful.

Cordelia got a lot more sleep being out and about and she was also very good for the long car rides.  I am lucky she is a good traveler, some babies scream the moment they are in a car.

Now on to another day... Sunday was a repeat of Friday.  Cordelia refused to sleep when she was not held.  I tried many times to put her down and immediately she would cry.  Without any afternoon naps at all, she was overtired and fussy.  It was an exhausting day and I've decided that if I keep having failures like that, I will just hold her for her nap and maybe sneak a few z's with her.  That is what I did on Monday and it went much better.  The only downside is it is nearly impossible to do anything when you hold your baby all day, like... go to the bathroom.

Sunday did have one redeeming moment, making it all worth it though.  Cordelia and I were playing in her bassinet, as she wouldn't sleep in it!, and she laughed for the first time.  Some real giggles.  It's a little bit early for laughs, but she did it--- I got it on video!  Jason wasn't home and I wanted to capture it for him and I did!!!  I have replayed it like 1000 times, savoring the cuteness and love of my happy baby.

Tuesday we went to the Farmers Market, and she slept a long time in her carseat upon returning home! Today I aimed for a similar situation and put her to sleep in her vibrating chair!  Hopefully she will get another solid nap while I enjoy this both hands-free moment and type.  And with luck, she'll stay asleep after I post this so I can get a nap too!

Birth Story

Well, I better start writing this before I forget all the details!!

On Sunday night, I made Jason start making our niece Penny's cardboard car.  He had been saving huge boxes from all of our baby shower gifts to make a car like the one that Wreck It Ralph's Vanellope drives.  I have been hoping to get some of these boxes out before Cordelia was born, so I said he needed to begin the project--- and thus guarantee I would finally go into labor.  (It was now five days past my due date).  Jason made most of the car's frame and assembled it with duct tape.  He texted a picture to sister-in-law Donica, who automatically got excited that we would be texting that labor was starting!!!  She liked the car, but said she now expected a 3 am wake up text that would say my water broke or labor had started.

She was only an hour off!!

We went to bed after midnight, and Jason had a heart-to-heart with my tummy.  He told Cordelia it was time to come out and that he wanted to hold her in his arms.

At 2 am, I woke up with labor pains beginning!  At first, I was not completely sure, since I thought maybe I was having an upset stomach and making many trips to the bathroom.  Jason got up around 3 to pee, and I stopped him, saying, "Something is definitely going on."  He was immediately wide awake!!

We tried timing some contractions, though it was kind of hard for me to recognize completely when one was starting and finishing. But they were already coming like 2-5 minutes apart!!  I called Kaiser's Labor and Delivery, since I wasn't sure if we should go to my scheduled 8:30 am appointment, or if I should just stay home until we met the 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long for 1 hour (4-1-1) signal to go to the hospital.  But they said to come to my appointment anyway.

I was nervous there would be a lot of free way traffic, but it was ok.  I checked into my appointment saying, "By the way, I'm having contractions right now!"  They called ahead to let them know I was there!  Didn't have to wait long for my stress test to begin.  I had a pretty cool nurse, who was very friendly and warm.  She let Jason come in until another patient showed up.

The stress test showed my contractions and the baby's heart beat.  The nurse told me, "Wow, you are having contractions all over the place!"  She said that mine were "piggybacking," which is why I think I was having trouble determining when one was "ending" and another was "beginning".  It seemed to just go on without ever completely fading away.  I was hopeful at this point that it would mean things might progress swiftly for me!

I was then checked with Dr. Kaeser, as my regular Dr. Wendt was not there that day.  She did a membrane sweep and checked my cervix.  She said I was 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and -2.  (I think the -2 has to do with where the infant's head is?)  She called over to labor and delivery and told them to expect me to check in there in about 2 hours, though I could head over sooner.  She then told us to go hang out around the hospital, and yes, we could go get some breakfast.

So we went to the Wellness Cafe and I had some oatmeal.  Then we walked around through the continuing contractions.  There was a loop with some grass, planters of flowers, and tables.  It was mostly in the shade, which was nice, since it was quite a warm day.  We walked it many times, also making trips inside to walk some of the halls and so I could continually go to the bathroom.  Contractions were making me feel like peeing nonstop.  We sat in some chairs near the records window and I actually saw the mother of one of the children in my preschool group who is a doctor!  She asked if I was there for an appointment and I reported no, I was in labor!!

Uncertain of when we could get our next meal, Jason and I went to the cafe one more time.  I got some pasta, which was not very delicious, even if I had been hungry enough to eat much of it.  Then we sat in the lobby area for a while.  I wanted to hold out as long as I could, because once you're checked in, that's it.  I was also hoping to be pretty far into labor.  We waited all the way until after 1pm and finally went up.  You have to call through this phone system before they open the door for you.  At first they were not sure who I was, since it had been over three hours since Dr. Kaeser had called about me.  They gave me a gown and did another stress test in their triage area.  A midwife Lorraine, who was lovely, checked me.  I was 5 cm and 90% effaced at this point. They asked what my pain medication plans were and I said I wanted to go as long as possible naturally.  I was pretty excited to find out that the only room with a tub was actually available.  They mentioned it at our birth class... lucky "Room 7." (You are not allowed to do a water birth, but you can use it for relief.)

The labor rooms at Kaiser WC are really beautiful.  They are spacious, wood paneling, lots of lighting settings, and just a nice feel to them.  So many people complain about the sterile hospital environment, but I don't get the sense of that at all.  Probably why the place has such a great reputation.

At that point I had a nurse named Chelsea, though the shifts would change as the night went on.  I guess some people may not like that about labor, but the changing nurses didn't bother me too much.  I was too much in the moment to care.  Chelsea was very supportive, but with a strong, direct personality.  I can't decide if I liked her or not; for some reason she almost intimidated me a little bit, but at the same time she was more helpful than a really soft spoken nurse I saw later on in the night.

Labor was kicking things up by then, with lots of long and painful contractions.  My whole body would get really tight and I was particularly feeling it from my stomach down to my thighs of all places, which I wasn't expecting. I got an IV put in, but it was detachable so I'd be able to still walk around.  Chelsea got it in perfectly, but it was still not the most comfortable and eventually left a bruise in my arm.

Things are already starting to get a bit fuzzy, plus I don't want to go into graphic detail.  I was in active labor, with the contractions never really disappearing at all by then.  Jason was texting with lots of people letting them know the time we'd been waiting for had arrived!  I used my birth ball a bit, which helped some, or just lay on my side on the bed.  Jason's parents showed up, even though I hadn't really planned on visitors.   They were content to just stay in a waiting room, but Jason encouraged me to see them.  They walked around some of the halls with me.  It was weird walking through different areas of the floor and noticing that the temperature/airconditioning changed drastically from corridor to corridor.

After my walk, I tried the tub, which ultimately, I don't know how much it helped, since contractions were soooo bad by then and I was getting completely exhausted.  It was so hard to move around by then and I also had to try keep my IV hand from getting wet.  I kept thinking about how I'd only had an hour of sleep and how many hours I'd been doing this for and I didn't really feel like I could keep going at this pace, or manage things if/when they got even worse.

After I got out the tub, I decided to have an epidural.  Chelsea was also offering another medicine that they put in your IV, but that goes into your blood stream (and also the baby's).  She said it would let you rest for about an hour, but for some people it makes them feel loopy, like drunk or high.  That didn't sound appealing for me, because even though there was a chance I could get some sleep-- what if I didn't and then still wanted the epidural later?  Then I'd be double medicated.  She was mainly concerned that I would be unhappy with my labor if I gave up my hope for doing it drug-free.  To be honest, it is disappointing, but ultimately, being able to look back and know how the rest of the night would go, I can say it was the right decision.  I was such a mess by the time they came to give me the epidural anyway.  It was 7pm by then and I was 8 cm....

After that they turned out most of the lights and we tried to rest.  I didn't fall asleep, and after a while I let Jason bring in some of the family members who were hanging out in the waiting room in small groups.  I remember watching the monitor and seeing how intense my contractions were, but I couldn't feel them.  Jason said before the epidural I was having contractions that were lasting 2 and a half minutes, with like 15 seconds between them.  I don't remember much about the conversations I had with people around this time, but I remember talking to Donica and hearing her reminisce about her own labor experience really cheered me up.

We rested some more and I actually did sleep for a very short time.  At some point they checked me and I was at 8 cm for a while, but things were still progressing.  I think the epidural probably had slowed things down, but it was worth it to get the rest.  At some other point, they asked if I wanted them to break my water, and I said ok.  It was a huge gush all over the bed!

I was starting to feel contractions again, no where near to the extent they had been before, but still noticeable.  I mentioned this to the nurses, and wanted to know if this was ok because I'd still want to be able to have some feeling left to be able to push.  But they said, no, I really shouldn't be feeling pain, and that there was no point in having a half-assed epidural.  I used the clicking thing to up the dose a bit, but it just was making my legs numb, but I was still feeling contractions on my sides. It took a while for the anesthesiologist to come to my room and they upped the epidural a bit.  I remember he was this Indian guy and talking to him about his own baby son.

It was getting close to midnight and they said it would be time to push soon!  I was a little disappointed Cordelia had not yet been born.  My mom had joked that if her birthday was on May 20th, that would be "Eliza Doolittle Day," as described in My Fair Lady's song "Just you wait Henry Higgins."

I was really thirsty around then and asked if I could have some water. Room temperature water did very little for me, but eventually I was given some sips of ice water, which soothed my mouth much more.  I was never offered ice chips, now that I think of it, though that is supposed to be a big thing when you are in labor.  Then the nurse, whose name was Amy at that point, offered me a popsicle.  I got a cherry one; it was really sweet and not the most tasty flavor, but boy did I enjoy it.  My push popsicle.

Yes, at last it was time to push.  I started pushing at around 1 am.  Nurse Amy led me through the pushes.  Basically for each contraction, she told me to try and push for 10 seconds three times, though I wouldn't really take breaks or barely even breathe between those three pushes.  And she would count to 10 for me so I could really concentrate.  At some point she went on a 15 minute break and another nurse (who I barely remember) came in and she didn't do the counting thing.  But I think I liked the counting more than not having it.

Pushing was probably the best part of labor; it was pretty rewarding because I could tell all my hard work was having an effect and actually doing something.  Sometimes I would try pushing really hard and it would get a big response.  Also, I had a mirror, which I highly recommend to at least try if you are in labor to get an idea of what is going on down there.  Cordelia was a little bit stuck for a while and at one point I was like, "I can't do this anymore!" and Jason and my nurse were shouting "Yes, you can!"

Every so often the midwife Kit would come in and check on me.  At one point she said, call me back as soon as you need me.  And then Amy had to call her back almost immediately after she'd left!

Even with the epidural, it still hurt a lot, and honestly, I'm not sure if I could have done it without one at that point.  I pushed for 2 hours (I hear the average for first time moms is three hours) and it was 25 hours after my labor had started that Cordelia was born.

She was born at 3:03 am. She was 8 lbs 9 oz and 20 1/2 inches long.

I got to hold her immediately, skin to skin.  She was crying real loud and strong and scored a 8 or 9 on the Apgar scale.  I remember telling her, "Oh yes, it's so hard to be in the world." She was wiped off a bit and Jason got to cut the cord.  I held her for about half an hour or so before trying to feed her and she was able to latch right away.

Jason texted the family that she was born and I called my mom, who apparently was awake.  My mom could hear her crying on the phone.

Jason's family came in sometime in the next hour, so they all got to see her even before the nurse took her to weigh and measure and put drops in her eyes etc.  I couldn't believe they'd waited all night long in the waiting room!  Even 2 year old Penny and 8 month old Rocky were sleeping there!  I am glad they came in, so I have some wonderful pictures of minutes old Cordelia.

At around 6, Amy helped me get into a wheel chair and we were moved to our room.  I was lucky enough not to have to share a room.  Cordelia got all swaddled up and we went to sleep at last!

Well, I've been trying to get around to posting this for weeks, so I think I'm just going to leave it as is, un-editted.  This is how Cordelia arrived in the world and everything else is already fading. I'm glad I wrote as much of this down as I did.  I guess this is what they talk about when they say you forget enough of it to make you want to have a second kid!