Phoebe Milestones

The 27th was Dada's birthday and a day of milestones for Phoebe.  The day before, she had been soooo close to rolling from back to tummy, but her arm was a little bit stuck.  I took a lot of videos and filled up my phone's storage, hoping to capture the moment. She struggled, got uncomfortable, and started fussing in discomfort until she had to be helped to moved.  Then she took a nap on her tummy on the playmate.  The following day, I saw that she was again about to roll onto her tummy.  Then I turned away, doing something getting breakfast ready, just for a moment, and when I looked back, she had succeeded and was happily on her tummy.  She still had plenty of energy left to hold her head up for a while, but eventually took her morning nap on her tum on the playmate again.  She has been enjoying that position a lot!  

I won tickets to iceskating, so we went there for Jason's birthday.  Cordelia was very wobbly, but once she got a walker, Jason could push her and she could hold herself up. She loved going fast "whheeeeeee!!"  I wore Phoebe in the baby carrier for our outing and she was in good spirits, despite the cold. We went out to dinner with his parents and Papa commented on Phoebe's teething and drool.  When I got home, I checked in her mouth with my finger and there it was--- I felt a bottom left tooth!!  It was nice and sharp! The right tooth is soon to follow it, I'm sure.

Anyway, I think Phoebe was running a bit of a teething fever, but we had to add to her discomfort by finally taking her in for her 4 month check up and shots (even though she is almost 5 months… work and the holidays delayed me).  It was a sad trip to the doctors, because Jason's work is switching insurance companies, so we will no longer have Kaiser.  I am disappointed to lose our pediatrician, whom Cordelia really likes, but it was good to have a "good-bye" and we gave her a thank you card.  

I didn't get the exact numbers, only a graph chart.  Looks like her length is almost 26 inches/ 65.5 cm.  Her weight was around 16 lbs 3 oz, I think.  Both the percentiles were in the 70s, I think her head was in the 80s??

Then she had 3 shots and the rotovirus drink, so by that night, she had a big fever, going up as high as 102!  I know Cordelia had a bad time of it over the 4 month shots as well.  We gave her a bath and even though it was a little early, I gave her another dose of tylenol.  After that, it was 2 more doses of tylenol when she woke up in the night.  Poor little thing.  We have never seen her is so much distress.  She handled it well, just had to get through it.  She didn't need tylenol by day today, but I gave her some at bedtime because I know her teeth are hurting her.  I remember Cordelia had such a fussy night the night she got her first tooth in.  With Phoebe, I didn't even know until after! Little bird, your sweetness is so pure.  I love her warmth and her snuggles.  I am depressed thinking about vacation ending and going back to work for so long.  Her babyhood is slipping by.  Never again will I be nursing a gummy-mouthed little baby.  She is focusing on toys so much more… I am noticing her hand-eye coordination improving so much.  She tried to grab a cookie out of my hands. She saw the Hanukkah bear and wanted to get it.  She loves to grab things and put them in her mouth and is getting more intentional about it.  

She is starting to outgrow her bed basket.  I need to start thinking ahead about where she is going to sleep. The bassinet isn't much bigger.  Maybe the pack n play in our room? Is she ready for the crib? Maybe she can teach Cordelia to sleep ha ha ha ha.  But when I go back to work, I will hate to not even spend nights close to her!! There just isn't enough time.  Sigh….

December Times

Well, now we've hit December! Phoebe is a dear, sweet, mellow baby. She slept through the night a lot at 3-4 months, but lately has been waking up 1-2 times in the night.  She coos and laughs and is full of chubby checked baby goodness.  She is just a very sweet love and I am grateful to her good nature because her sister is becoming very demanding. She hasn't been taking as huge naps by day, but still can typically put herself to sleep for at least one nap in her swing, sometimes too.

I went back to work for 12 days, and Phoebe seemed to have adjusted well. With my group, it's like I hardly was gone, it's very easy to pick up where we left off.  But it was still hard to go back. I felt like I was just getting into the swing of things, and then boom! Maternity Leave Over. It was a blur. And then I'm spoiled by going back to that routine because now I'm back on winter vacation for 2 weeks. January is when the real challenge starts. In the meantime, I will enjoy not having to pump again for a while.  I hate pumping!!

Cordelia immediately got sick, and Phoebe had her first cold, but it was very mild.  I am praying that she can stay healthy, as Cordelia has her second (maybe going into third) cold of the month.

On Dec 4th, Phoebe rolled from tummy to back.  But she hasn't really done it since, but then again, I've been bad about making her do tummy time.  But she is getting stronger all the time and loves to kick kick kick her legs!

She is also teething like crazy, constantly drooling and everything immediately goes into her mouth. She is a thumb sucker, finger sucker, and toy nom-er. Nom nom nom.  Drool. Drool. Spectacular spit up!!

She rubbed away a lot of her hair, but it is finally starting to come back in on the sides. The hair on the top of her head is nice and long and will only keep growing!

Cordelia is giving us the delightful holiday gift of having extreme tantrums. I think we have been waffling a little big too much about following through with some limit setting. We having been using counting to be an incentive to get her in motion, but nothing really works and the last few days, she is just falling apart.  Last night and today turned into screaming, attacking, and total hysterics. She is also very very whiny.  It is kind of breaking my heart, to be a teacher, and still stuck in these helpless power struggles with my child. Last night, I couldn't really deal, but today I weathered through a tantrum that last like half and hour and felt like the techniques I've learned did help.  But just barely.  I hope this phase will pass soon because it is a real treat, let me tell you. I am worried that with the holidays starting tomorrow, it will only be extra stress upon her. I hope I can support her through this.  And to be honest, as Phoebe grows, I think more and more about how I miss the happy perfection that was toddler Cordelia. It breaks my heart.  She is such a ball of emotion in all her threenager glory.  I love her imagination and her curiosity and wonder, but her ego-centrism is off the charts. I hope she will open up more.

Phoebe Months 1 and 2

For the first month, I had lots of help.  The first week, my whole family stayed in town and helped out with cooking meals and doing some tidying for us.  When Cordelia was born, we didn't go anywhere with her for a while, but Phoebe was out of the house and keeping up with our activities from the beginning!  We came home on Monday and on Wednesday we were dropping Cordelia off at school and then taking Phoebe to her 2 day check up.

They determined she was jaundice, so we kept having to go back to Kaiser to get her billirubin levels checked.  We went back Thursday, Friday, and Monday, I think before they cleared her.  It is no fun having them poke her little ankles to get all the blood, broke my heart!  I guess she was in between, because they never actually treated her, just kept monitoring her until they were satisfied.

Instead of the bassinet, Phoebe slept in a little basket in our bed.  The jaundice made her sleepy and she was a pretty easy going baby, right from the start.  She would want to eat about every 2-3 hours, a pretty reasonable amount.

The day my parents left, the nurse-mom from my class came over and gave me a personal lactation consult! Awesome!

Along with taking Cordelia to school, we also brought Phoebe to Jason's office to show her off!  Everyone loved how much she looked like him!  We also made trips to the Japanese Festival and the OFS graduation picnic.

Phoebe had explosive poops and farts! She could shoot poop across the changing table!

After 2 weeks, Jason went back to work, just in time for his busiest time of the year: college move in.  It was crazy, poor guy.  That day, our electricity breakers completely blew out.  It ended up being 24 hours without power and $5000 repairs bill.  What an absolute nightmare.  Also I had to take Phoebe to her 2 week check up with Cordelia in tow.  My first time going out with just the girls.

To be honest, Cordelia did amazing.  I had my expectations set pretty low for what it would be like, but it was so much better than I could have imagined.  I felt like I wasn't able to give her enough attention when we were both home, but now that it was just me at home, she just hung out with me while I would take care of Phoebe, so I didn't feel as if I were not giving her enough time anymore. I am also so much better about getting out of the house with Phoebe now than I was with Cordelia-- with her it seemed infinitely difficult to get going.  Now it is so much better!  Also I was so busy, I didn't have time for baby blues!

I got lots of naps the first month too, which helped my sanity.

My mom and Rebecca came back at 4 weeks and stayed Monday-Friday, for more meal help and entertaining Cordelia with ridiculous games!  It was great to see my mom with Phoebe--she was such a baby whisperer.  It really encouraged me to try more ways to comfort her than just giving her the boob all the time.  With Cordelia, she was such a huge comfort nurser, that was what I did all day long.  Feed her, try and put her down, she would wake up, fuss, and be fed again!  I felt like I couldn't make myself lunch!  Phoebe doesn't get held as much-- good thing she likes her swing!! But that is the fate of the second baby! We have a different swing this time, from a school family, and Phoebe does very well in it!

On Saturday, Auntie A came up for the weekend! It was a short visit, but we were happy to have her!

Phoebe did not like baths at first, but she is getting used to them.  I got a cradle cap shampoo, because with all that hair, I was not going to be running my fingers through all those yucky, scaly, bumps!  It took 2 treatments, but after that she has been pretty clear!

Let's see…. now onto the 2nd month!

We took Cordelia to see Frog and Toad the musical, which has become an obsession.  She is Frog and I am Toad.  Phoebe impressed us by sleeping through the ENTIRE show, which was only an hour, but still.

We went to a lot of birthdays…. Elliot's was at the Little Farm.  Cordelia fed the animals bravely! Elizabeth had a gymnastics party. We had a birthday dinner with Gillian and also went to Alyssa's house for her birthday.  The following weekend was Penny/Rocky's joint birthday party at the Small World amusement park, and also the Ren Faire!

We were getting into a good routine of the days.  We go to school or have morning activities, lunch, quiet time/mama-baby time, watch tv, have dinner and then bed.

Phoebe has had some fussy times, but her sleep skills are building up more and more.  She fell asleep in her swing one night and slept until 4 am.  I fell asleep on the couch and was shocked when she woke up!  But she has continued to do decent nights with long chunks of sleep (with a few exceptions, like when we were going to Ren Faire and she could not be put down!)

Phoebe Birth Story!

At 39 weeks, I started having contractions around 4 am on Saturday.  I’d been having tightening/Braxton Hicks for a long time, but this was the first time I had some real contractions that felt like stomach cramping.  I went to the bathroom a few times I think and tried to go back to sleep.  Jason got up with Cordelia and after 8 am sometime, my contraction timer was telling me I was having pretty regular contractions about every 8-10 minutes.  The App told me to start getting ready to go to the hospital (though it did that by analyzing a series of 4 contractions, which is no where near enough... Kaiser wants consistent contractions every 4/5 mins, lasting 1 min, and for 1 hour.)  But anyway, it felt like a rhythm was picking up, so I told Jason we should start to get ready because maybe this was the real deal.

Then I had breakfast and things slowed down again.  Getting up definitely changed things.  I think I was still having contractions, but no where near as many.  But we assembled stuff and checked in with Jason’s mom to let her know something was possibly happening.  

After a while, I was feeling a bit better, so I suggested we take Cordelia out for frozen yogurt.  She was much better about eating it this time, even compared to on her 3rd birthday a few months ago.  It was really sweet, but I was definitely thinking about this being our last outing as a family of 3.  I’m glad we were able to do something a little special with her.  While we were there, a dad who came in with some older kids politely asked me if I had just one in there.  Ha ha, very funny.  

I can’t remember too much about the day passing at this point.  I’d been supposed to go to a funeral service in Napa, but had canceled because I didn’t want to get stuck in Napa traffic with all these contractions.  Alex texted me about how it was, and I appreciated the check in, as I’d really wanted to be there.

I was able to take a nap, amazingly, for which I’m really grateful.  I don’t think it was a lot of sleep, but that is the last sleep I would have in a while.

I remember Jason gave me a full plate for dinner, but I wasn’t sure if I could eat it all.  But I’m glad I did eat at least something, because I don’t think I had much else from that point on.  

We had a long time debating on whether or not to bring Cordelia to Meme’s house for the night.  I was pretty sure things were underway, but there was always the chance they could stop again and I could be stuck in this pattern for the next three days.  Did we want to go through the confusion of a false alarm for Cordelia?  Anyway, we kind of decided to make the night smoother we should maybe drop her off.  But then we talked to Meme and she said she was willing to take her, but then also made a comment about losing time with her.  Well, from that I inferred that although she was not actually saying it, she may personally have thought we should wait until we knew it was the real deal.  And of course, pointing out I would be losing time with my daughter of course immediatley activated my Mommy Guilt. Not that with all these contractions did I feel like we were spending any sort of "quality time" together.  It was just making it so that Jason was spending all his energy fielding Cordelia’s attention from me, while I worked through contractions on my own.

We said we’d take a walk and check back around 8.  We went around the neighborhood with Cordelia’s new bike.  I staggered around after them.  I forget what I was wearing... something I don’t normally go out in... I think I at least put on a bra.... but knew I was looking SUPER PREGNANT and unatractive as hell.  We saw AJ and his mom and she was sweet and encouraging, told me to keep walking.

Jason did bedtime with Cordelia and she took a while to go to sleep.  I called my mom and talked to her, starting to have really frequent contractions.  At one point, I told her to tell me a story to distract me and she thought that was funny.  She came up with telling me about the shady doings of some of our relatives she had tracked on ancestry.com.  Like claiming to collect stuff for charity and then reselling all of it for profit and getting newspaper articles written about their scandals! 

Eventually Jason got out of Cordelia’s room and put on his youtube videos.  He tried to tell me to go lie down and take a nap.  I told him there was no way I could possibly go to sleep through this now.  He and I had an irritable exchange where he was like, “Don’t complain later when you are tired.” and I was like, “Trust me, that’s not what my body wants to do right now.  I just want you to stay positive for me.”  

We ended up watching some videos of a modern mime from America’s got Talent or whatever.  He was called Tape Face and he had some really great performances.  We also watched some of his own youtube channel of some great street performances he did (while talking).  He was going to chop up a cucumber on some guy’s stomach with a sword.  It was a really great routine, building and building the suspense.

 My contractions were coming pretty often and they were very uncomfortable and painful.  I hadn’t been timing them too closely for a while, but then the app told me they were about every 2-5 minutes, and it started freaking out and gave me a warning to call an ambulance.  This had not been going on for an hour, but Jason said maybe it was time to actually get things going because there was also the period I wasn’t timing contractions, so we were probably getting close to an hour.  

So he called his mom and told her we were going to come over.  We packed up our last few things and Jason brought it all to the car... car seat, birth ball, bags, etc.  I suggested to Jason that he eat something, so he popped a chicken bake in the microwave.  The last thing we did was get Cordelia up.  She actually transitioned really, really well.  She dropped off happily and gave us hugs and kisses and then apparently went right to sleep in her pack n play.  So proud of my big girl.  It was hard to say good-bye to her, knowing it was the last hugs and kisses I would get from my “only child”.

So I’m a little vague on what time we arrived at Kaiser.  I think it was between 1 and 2.  Ah, here we go, I texted Jason’s mom not long after we got our room (room #2) to let her know I’d been admitted and that was at 2:38.  So at least we were settled by then.

When we got to Labor and Delivery (having contractions the whole time I walked up), they answered the door right away for us.  When Cordelia was born, it was much busier and there was some confusion since the Dr who had done my morning appointment had told me to go get checked in about 2 hours and I had waited for about 3.  So they had kind of forgotten who I was and had to get that settled.  But this time, it was nice and quiet.  I got changed and they examined me... It was a little disappointing to be told I was only 4-5 cm after the whole day of contractions!  It would have been nice to make more progress, rather than not even/almost half way there.  Especially because at my appointment on Thursday Dr. Wendt had said I was already 2-3 cm.  

Anyway, so we got to our room and I met a midwife and our first nurse.  Whose name, I can’t believe, I can’t remember right now! Oh, I think it was Bree. They were very enthusiastic with me wanting to do a natural labor.  They said the second babies tend to be faster.  

I asked to see if I could do no IV, or at least delay it as long as possible, since I felt last time it was pretty uncomfortable.  Also, with my weak arms/wrists, I knew even if it were capped it would interfere with my arm positioning.  I was drinking a lot and confident that I was not going to have any serious medical complications, so I felt ok about it.  Also, it was another way of trying to commit to being drug free.  

(Oh boy, I started this, but it still takes so long to get writing time in!)

Anyway, we got settled into our room.  I met the current midwife on duty and she was super familiar, I think I had met her when I had Cordelia and was getting checked into the hospital.  She even looked back through some records, but it didn’t say if she had treated me.  But it was very brief.  But I think I remembered the had longer hair back then.  Anyway, I really liked her calm, gentle nature, but her shift would be over by the time I’d be ready for delivery.  

The night shift would be ending at 7:30, and I asked if they thought I would have my baby by then.  They said, it was possible, and every one affirmed that second babies can come much faster.  

 Jason went back and got my birth ball.  We dimmed the lights a bit and tried to rest of the “night”.  Jason went to sleep around 3.  I was having really steady contractions that I managed on my own.  Bree gave me lots and lots of those little heat packs that you can crack to release the heat.  They really helped get through the contractions, but they lost heat really quickly for me.  I wanted them to be hot!  Anyway, Bree brought me a bunch of extra ones.  I also asked if there was anything I could eat to keep my energy up.  I was allowed to have non-solid food.  So I drank tons of juice (discovered I really like grape juice boxes) and had some pudding... vanilla and then a chocolate one.

I kept feeling like I had to pee or poop, but sitting on the toilet made contractions so painful, I couldn’t bear it and it made it next to impossible to have any release.  It was awful.  Also, I started losing more of my mucus plug, so I was having some very light bleeding and some  blood clotty mucusy stuff.  

I was having intermitent monitoring, which I liked much much better than being hooked up all the time.  That was great, so much easier to go around, bounce on the birth ball, etc.  Bree would come in every 30 mins or so to do some monitoring, and then every so often she would have to leave me hooked up for 20 mins or so to check the baby.  There was one point she was sleeping and they had to leave me hooked up for a while longer to make sure she would wake up.  I think at one point Phoebe even had the hiccups!

I passed the time looking at stuff on pinterest and listening to some Trash Can Sinatras and a birth meditation to help me relax.  

At 6 am, contractions started getting really really bad.  I went to the bathroom, and went I came staggering out, I told Jason he had to get up because I needed help.  He helped do a lot of really firm pressure on my hips to get me through contractions.  I used the birth ball and we walked around.  

At 7:30, Bree’s shift was done and she came in and introduced us to Susan, the next nurse.  She was going to do my 20 minute monitoring again, but we decided I would go to the bathroom first and then she’d come back.  I think I felt like I had to go.  I told Jason I needed him to come in and help me, because sitting down felt so terrible.  

I went to sit down and then felt the big gush!  I knew I hadn’t peed yet!  My water had broken on it’s own, which was something I’d really hoped would happen. I got up and was shaking a lot and I think as I went to grab  the handicapped bar, and totally by accident pulled the red string that calls back the nurse.  But it was good that I did, because Susan came back and immediately became our vital support person.  

So, usually when I hear about water breaking, it’s clear water, amniotic fluid.  And it’s one big gush, right?  Well, not for me!  I continued to have big gushes of fluid and blood and blood clotty stuff.  I started having more all over the bathroom floor.

Susan moved me to the bed and I think I got checked.  I can’t remember, maybe I was still only like 7 cm??  I felt like things were getting bad, but there was still so far to go!  The next hour and a half (actually probably less) were So. Intense.

Contractions were So. Bad.  Things amped up and I was in agony.  The hardest thing for me was to not know how to fully let go of myself and still be in control of my pain without “panicking.”  I started screaming through contractions, but Susan didn’t like how my scream sounded.... sorry, I don’t know how to scream productively.  Eventually, I started doing more of a moaning growl, which I guess was more helpful.  I was kind of leaning/squating on the bed for this part.

Anyway, it started getting really bad.  They checked me and I still wasn’t complete.  It was taking forever.  I was begging for it to be over, and got very negative, saying I felt like I couldn’t do this anymore.  Susan told me I was in control of my body, in control of my pain, but that was not helpful, because I was definitely not in control.  It got very hard to breathe, and getting told to take a deep breath was just frustrating because I couldn’t do it.

Jason was really good about holdign me and telling me to trust my body and use my energy.  Susan would hold my hand and also put one finger on my forehead and was saying things like, “Your forehead’s not in labor.”

I kept having really messy gushes all over the bed.  It was so messy and soaking everything.  I think my gown got too wet, so they just took it off, because then I had no clothes.  I think even Susan got wet.   To be honest, those were the best contractions because it felt like a bit of release, for something to come out.  But all of it was BAD.  

I got checked again and still wasn’t complete.  My cervix wasn’t moving out of the way.  The midwife, Evie, tried to push it, but she couldn’t do it; it would have to do it on its own.  She suggested I get on hands an knees.  I wasn’t sure before if that position would be comfortable for me because of my weak wrists, but I wish I’d gotten into it way sooner.  I mean, it wasn’t any kind of relief at that point, but it made things get even faster.  Pretty sure it was around this point, I asked if it was too late for an epidural because I was in total agony.  I think Susan said “Nooooo--o-o,” in kind of this hesitant way, and Jason says she also said something about, “Do you think you could hold still for an epidural?” but I don’t remember that.  Anyway, Jason told me I could do it, so I kept going.

I started feeling like I had to poop or maybe the baby was coming.  They told me not to push because I would hurt my cervix.  But finally, very soon after that I was compelte and they told me I could push.  

Well, that was terrible.  It definitely felt like having to poop.  It was really hard to concentrate on the right spot, but with direction I could do it.  I have no idea how long I pushed for.  Maybe more than 15 minutes, but I don’t know if it was more than half an hour? Definitely under an hour.  

Anyway, giving birth to her head SUCKED SO BAD.  Well, what do you expect?  It was awful.  At some point, they had me get on my side, which would be the position I’d used for delivery.  I’m pretty unclear on things, other than that at some point they started telling me they could see her head and that she had hair and did I want to feel it?  I didn’t really, I was too traumatized, but at some point, someone put my hand on her hair and god did that feel weird.  FINALLY her head was born, and it wasn’t much longer at all before the rest of her came and they had me pull her up onto my chest.  She did have so much hair!!!!! And it was so dark!  She was definitely a Katayanagi baby!!  I was so surprised that she looked so much like Jason, after Cordelia looking so much like me!! She was a little grayish to me, (“blue” to the staff... she needed to get some air in, but she was crying fine).  

I delivered the placenta, of which I only have a very vague memory again.  The midwife checked me and said I had only a very minimal tearing internally (1st degree) and needed no stitches.  I was really really happy about that.

Phoebe was 9 lbs and 21 inches long, born at 9:31 am.   We also decided to give her a bath, although they were encouraging waiting 24 hours before washing off the vernix to be good for the immune system.  But she had pooped on her way out of being born and then I think she peed and pooped some more, so I said, just wash her!  It was nice to have all that hair soft and clean, instead of gunky.

After I gave birth, my body was shaking uncontrollably.  I felt cold, and it was the cocktail of all the hormones coursing through my body.  After having Phoebe on my chest for a while, Jason actually took her for some time because I was shaking so much.  I did not like that part, because I felt like I wasn’t able to bond with Phoebe as much as I would have liked. Susan put blankets on me from the heater, just like they were using to keep Phoebe warm.  But within the first hour, we did breastfeed for the first time and we both did ok.  We also face timed with Jason’s mom and got to see Cordelia. <3

After 2 hours of settling in, Susan came to help move us to our room.  We were getting our own room again, yay!  

She had me get in a wheel chair ride thing and I think we went to the bathroom and she got me all set with pads and such.  Susan was telling me about how much she loved natural child birth and that morning there were 3 moms in the hospital trying to have natural births.  We could hear someone else screaming and moaning, so I didn’t feel so bad ha ha.  That had been me, a short time ago!!  At some point she also told me a story about her first day on the job, when a woman threw up an Italian restaurant pasta dinner’s worth of food all over.  

Anyway, despite all the pain and the shaking episode after the birth, the unmedicated birth had such a faster recovery time.  Within hours, I was up taking myself to the bathroom and my pain was so manageable.  Usually I said only like 2-3 on the pain scale when asked.  Eventually things did start to get more sore down there, but still, so much better than after Cordelia, where I felt really horrific swelling and had some tearing.  I’m sure having a second baby was easier, but I definitely think the epidural had slowed down my labor a lot, and also it made my legs feel really weird the day after. 

I am proud that I was able to do it as my body was designed to, though I guess I wish....... I could have been in labor a bit more positively, instead of getting stuck on “I can’t do this anymore.”  Could have given birth a little bit more.... gracefully.  HA HA HA, as if unmedicated birth is going to be graceful.  Yeah, I know, I guess I am just always going to analyze everything and be hard to satisfy.  But I did it and that is quite an accomplishment.  “FOR GLORY” as Jason said. lol. 

We were moved to our room and the rest of the family began to arrive to meet Phoebe!

First came all the Katayanagis, who brought Cordelia.  She was very excited and happy to see us and meet her baby sister.  Everyone was so happy about how much Phoebe was a little Jason-baby.  Donica brought me a really awesome gift-- the big illustrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Harry's wand.  This was perfect because Phoebe was born on Harry Potter's birthday (July 31st), just like I'd wanted.  I was thrilled.

It was so hard to say goodbye to Cordelia, especially because she said she wanted to go home with us.  But she was in good hands, spending another night with Meme and Papa.

My parents and Rebecca came in around 5!  They were all in amazement over Phoebe's full head of hair.  

We had an ok first night, but because Phoebe was 9 lbs they kept wanting to take blood from her foot to test her glucose.  The nurse-parent I have from a boy in my class said that was just making Kaiser rules happy--- both Jason and I were obviously tall, so it's not like she was "overweight!"  Anyway, they had to do it every six hours until they got the numbers they wanted.  Then they reported that her billirubin levels were high, so she would likely begin to look jaundice in a few days.  

Phoebe also was a bit wheezy, sounding like she was getting some fluid out of her lungs, so she was supposed to have some cries to clear her lungs.

Overall, the nurses felt like she was doing well!  We began to make arrangements so that we'd be able to leave the next day.  A photographer came in and took some stinking adorable photos, so of course we had to buy them! Great marketing plan!

Here are some photos!


Yucky newborn gunk!




It's so hard to be in the world!


Cordelia meets Phoebe for the first time!  


Room Board


Precious Newborn Photos:

A Year Later…...

Ok, well this blog kind of fell by the way side for the 2 year old year.  Sometimes I would think about posting, but then there would just be too much to cover!

The last time I posted here, I was stressing about the transition of Cordelia starting school and also having to be baby sat by Emily that week.  Well, after our mutual first day of the school year, I realized that night that I had lice.  My head had been getting increasingly itchy and finally at like 11 pm I found a nit in my hair.  So I had to take off the 2nd day of the school year-- not the best time for the teacher to be out, especially when you have a new child starting in your class.  Not being a lice expert, I took Cordelia to Love Bugs to have a professional go through our hair much fast and thoroughly  than I ever could. Their logo is ladybugs, so Cordelia was not very upset about having bugs in her hair.  We just said we had to get all the buggy-bugs out.  I didn't even have the heart to tell her we were killing the bugs, just taking them out, to vaguely maybe be released outside?? ha ha, I just don't want to teach her to kill living things.  Anyway, it was hell and I am traumatized for life and occasionally still have itchy head flashbacks.

Cordelia made it through the many changes and settled into school.  She likes her teachers Kristina and Dominique so much.  She enjoys playing and being around other peers but doesn't engage in sustained play with them for very long.  There is one girl that she has a bit of a bond with, but overall doesn't have a strong friendship yet.  She can sometimes be in a bit of her own world.  But eventually she has learned to sit for Circle Time and mostly join the group for snack time.  She even takes naps there, except for rare occasions.  At first she didn't but then we started packing her blankie and it put her right to sleep.  Her teachers dubbed it "The Magic Blankie", a name that has stuck on ever since.  It is working well with her going MWF, with T Th at Meme's house.  It gives her a bit of a break because school days are quite long.

The other thing about school is that it has given Cordelia plenty of exposure to germs.  Late fall and winter were one sickness after another.  Cordelia's snotty nose seemed never ending.  In October, she got some sort of tummy bug and threw up several times, which was also a bit traumatic.  Because she was unwell, she started waking up in the night and being hysterical about being stuck in her crib.

You would think this would pass once she was well, but it did not.  Cordelia has woken up multiple times in the night ever since then.  How I took the days of her sleeping well for granted!  I have analyzed it a thousand ways, whether it was from being sick or just the new schedules or what, but now when she wakes up in the night, she becomes alert and then wants help going back to sleep.  Or for one of us to stay in her room with her.  She won't go down for bedtime by herself either.  Some nights she was staying up until after 10 or 10:30, either just playing or talking to herself or battling with us.  This has made us plenty tired and Jason and I have argued quite a bit about how to handle her sleep, and it is terribly hard for us to agree on any sort of method to consistently follow because nothing really works.

In November we did get her the cat and dog Ikea toddler bed.  It took some time to get her used to the bed.  Jason and I argued about going back and forth between the crib and the bed as an option, but then it would just become a game for her to ask to go to the other bed.  Fortunately, we are well past that and the trick is to get her to stay in her bed.  At first she would get out of bed and just knock on the door. "Mama/Dada come in!"  Even after she learned how to open the door, she would still knock and call for us.  Slightly cute, even though not ideal, right?  Most recently though she has been coming into our room and trying to get into bed with me.  If the sun is coming up, I do let her stay with me.  I say we can have "morning snuggles".  And sometimes she will go to sleep for a bit more time.  I don't completely enjoy it because she takes over my whole spot in the bed and I am a very sensitive sleeper.  If she comes to sleep there in the night, I won't get a decent amount of sleep the rest of the time.  So I try to make her go back to her bed.  I have spent a long time working on us staying for a little bit and then going out to do something, reminding her that I will be right back to check on her in a number of minutes.  It sometimes sort of helps.  When she wakes up at night, she is supposed to turn on her glowing star turtle lamp and go back to sleep.  There was one week recently where she slept through the night every night and by god thought maybe we had turned a corner.  But no.  We took a trip and then C got sick with a fever that last 5 days, and now she is back to her wakings.  I try and remind myself that these are all just stages and eventually it will end, but it is still very hard.

Maybe if she slept better, she would be less cranky and contrary.  Or maybe that's just because she is two.  Maybe she would sleep all night if she dropped taking naps, but usually she is too tired for me to consider giving up naps yet.  Sometimes lately I have been thinking about her glorious toddler years and her almost non stop happiness.

to be continued…. (started in May, finished in August)

Anyway, the exciting part of the year was that I became pregnant with our second baby.  We found out in November, after I started to feel a bit nauseous several times in one week (around when we were buying the Ikea bed!).  At first I was worried it was a stomach bug from school, but then by Monday took a test and got a positive result.  It was the same as with Cordelia-- I put the test down, assuming it was negative, but then looked again and another line had shown up!!

Anyway, I had terrible morning sickness and felt awful during the first trimester.  Also, starting on January 1st, I got a horrible respiratory infection and coughed for over a month.  I had to do antibiotics and get a steroid inhaler.  I was convinced that those, the tylenol and some cough meds I took would not be great for my baby, who, later that month we found out was another girl!  Finally, I recovered and soon after that it started to be obvious I was pregnant!  It was such a relief, as people were constantly asking me through hthe sickness, What are you taking for it? and for a long time, the answer was nothing!!

We told Cordelia around 15 weeks.  After having known a young child who knew about a mother's early miscarriage, I was a little paranoid about her going through the confusion of something like that.  But fortunately, we were fine, meds and all.  I pointed out to Cordelia that my tummy was getting bigger and she immediately made the connection, after having been around some pregnant mommies at school.  She put her hands on my tummy and asked "Is it a baby?"  She was very sweet and would whisper in a quiet gentle voice to the baby.

Overall, she wasn't too interested/excited about the baby though.  She would give it brief moments of affection and was never negative about it, but she has just never been super into babies. She would put her hand on my big tummy, but only for a second or two, to say hello.  She rarely stuck around to try and feel kicks or to talk to the baby beyond, "Hello, baby.  I am your big sister!"  She is much more into her animals and her creative play.

Cordelia became very focused on taking on roles of different characters she loves and insisting that we also adopt roles.  For weeks, she would only call Jason Anna, while she pretended to be Elsa from Frozen.  It was almost concerning, she would wake up in the night and ask for Anna!  She was into it non stop.  Then eventually I became an Anna option too, or other characters that she loved.  Since then, she branched out, adding Mickey and Minnie, Doc McStuffins characters, Princess Sophia, Cinderella, Daniel Tiger characters etc.  The most recent obsession is the Octonauts show.  She is the polar bear Captain Barnacle.

She has also gotten into Horses, thanks to our friends who own horses.  She has had 2 pony ride lessons on Trigger, but she loves Alyssa's horse Dante most of all.  She asked for a horse themed birthday party!  She was sick right around her party again and we had to do some rescheduling, but it still managed to be fun. Meme and Papa gave her the most incredible toy horses as her present!

  I can't believe my baby is 3!!

Shortly before her birthday, Cordelia became potty trained.  I started the first week of April, my spring break, by giving her diaper free time.  She was very ready and picked it up quickly.  I kept her in diapers for school and Meme's until I was confident in her ability to not have accidents and in May we switched to underwear with very few accidents.  The only issue can be she will hold her pee for hours. Usually she will go at least 3-5 times a day, but will wait for 4-5 hours without going.  As a pregnant mom, that's how often it felt like I would go in an hour sometimes lol.  Also, we have not transitioned out of potty chairs.  In some ways it 's good to have them nearby, all over the house, but it would also be nice, now that she can hold it so well, to just go in the potty and not have to worry about clean up.  Oh well, lesson learned for Phoebe, eh? She is still in diapers/pull ups for sleep because she definitely goes a lot in her sleep still.

At school, Cordelia enjoys the environment and the presence of other children socially, but she is still very much in her own little world.  And she is very happy there in her imaginative play, but hasn't formed any deep connections of friendship.  There is one girl that she likes a lot, but I think part of their relationship takes place in her mind as well, as they don't actually interact too much.  In some ways it is nice.  Some of the girls in her class are already starting to have threenager social drama, and Cordelia is oblivious to it all.  Her teachers said, "She doesn't have time for that!!"

I can't believe she is moving into the Big Room next week!!

Cordelia has been adjusting to Phoebe being born pretty well.  She is even more affectionate to the baby now that she is here and not just in my tummy.  But she has moments of jealousy, asking us to "Put Phoebe Down!" and hold her instead.  She has expressed a lot of interest in revisiting a lot of her baby things, like the bassinet or the high chair, to feel secure.  She also demands "Play with me!!" all the time, which can be tough because we don't always have the time.  But we are giving her lots of love and patience and she is doing really well.  We are watching a bit more tv and playing more iPad games than I would like, but, well, it's an adjustment.  I was worried about what it would be like when Jason went back to work, but honestly, in some ways it is easier (at least with Phoebe still being so easy going for now) because she isn't splitting her attention between me and Jason.  She just hangs out with me and rarely gets to frustrated or upset.  We will see how the new school schedule goes next week!

I think we are abandoning nap time.  It is too hard for one of us to be there to help her with her sleep and when she does fall asleep, she is staying up until 10 pm again.  This weekend, we started having quiet time, where she has to stay in her dim room and read to herself.  She actually likes it a lot. I want to move her bedtime up to adjust to it, but it is still hard to get everything done before the regular time.  And she is still coming into our room at night!  Hopefully she will start sleeping more solidly soon.  It's not a big interruption, just hoping she will figure things out.

Ok, I better post this before it gets any later!!!!!